How do you react when someone offends you?

Here2lrn · 2014-09-27T22:46:26+00:00

Dismissive. Treat them like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Paraplegic_Dolphin · 2014-09-27T22:48:35+00:00

If you're not good with comebacks I'd say just giggle and brush it off. Just don't let it shake your frame, and being able to laugh at yourself shows others you won't be shaken. Also, try and work on your witty comeback game. Can't tell you how, other than to watch how other people do it, and watch a lot of stand up comedy.

[deleted] · 2014-09-28T11:19:25+00:00

You must have seen others getting humiliated in front of you. Look at their body language. The first response of a person to this is a sudden change in facial expression. Looking away, sudden eye movements, lowering the eyes etc. Sometimes, even the body language changes to submissive.

Take care not to do these things. Instead, look them right in the eye, without a trace of smile or anger. Basically you have to send the message that nothing that trivial can possibly affect you. Words are really not needed to do that.

TheDarkTriad · 2014-09-28T15:53:09+00:00

You do nothing. When you show little or no reaction to someone after they tried to offend you it will infuriate them. Let them dig their own grave as you smirk at them. They're just trying to get you to react. That's not to say there aren't times when you need to respond to them in a particular way. The key in any situation though is to always be calm and have full control of your emotions.

oldredder · 2014-09-29T10:11:19+00:00

There's varying degrees of being offended, and intended offense/insult or a larger game.

I react either in the right manner to the right degree, or I learn where I went wrong so forever after I do not repeat the mistake.

What is being devalued, insulted: my job performance? My ability to be a lover? My ability to be cohesive to society, to work with people? My ability to lead? Every detail matters and intent matters too. A person with intent can give what appears to be a low-level insult or none while actually setting you up to appear to fail in front of those who have power (e.g. boss, wife) to do real harm to your life. Or a comment could be unintentional, really have no power to do damage to you but feel like it's a jab at who you are as a person or want to be. If you're put down about your life goals, your opinions on a topic of politics or religion, maybe about cars, girls, whatever, you might take it too personally.

Don't. That's it. Learn where you guessed wrong then don't. Over-reacting to an insult does you no good. Taking a comment as an intentional put-down that isn't intentional also won't ever help.

If someone's comment gives genuine useful information be quietly thankful it was given for free. Don't be visibly offended even if you feel it.

If it's just joking around turn it into more jokes. Act over-dramatically offended like a comedian or actor if you can pull it off & return a jab that is also a joke. A man's more likely to do that than a woman to you, as a man, but it could go either way.

Title	How do you react when someone offends you?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	5
Date	September 27, 2014 9:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2hnajk/how_do_you_react_when_someone_offends_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-react-when-someone-offends-you.142453 https://theredarchive.com/post/142453

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