TL;DR: Routine RPer having trouble getting over the desire for a fantasy LTR.

Alright. I've been on TRP since June last year, and I keep thinking I've swallowed it fully, then I realize I haven't.

I've internalized a lot of the good stuff, I read womens' behavior a lot more clearly now and a lot of it makes sense to me. I've gotten better game, I get less surprised if someone gets burned because of a woman, and I'm having an easier time with social dynamics.

Only problem is... I still long for the relationship that TRP claims I can't have. As much as I've tried to kill the desire, I still feel like I won't be whole until I have a mutual loving relationship where I can be honest about things and blah blah disney fantasy. I feel like I've had it before, and even if I've later realized that things were less than stellar, I want it again.

Part of the reason is that I had a particularly bad breakup 6 months ago that I just haven't been able to get over. I've gone out and tried to meet other chicks, but nothing seems to make up for how much I loved this girl. Massive oneitis, I know, but I seriously feel like there's nothing I can do to get over her...

I'm moving away in 4 months, which'll fix it (it's a small town, and I know that I don't give a fuck when I'm away, but having to return makes it hard), but it won't solve the root cause - that feeling of emptiness when I'm not in a fulfilling LTR. I don't want that addiction - how can I kill it? I need to try something new, because after almost a year of TRP it still isn't there.