How do I maintain consistency of my thoughts, words, and actions?

I want to: 1. stop trying to fit in social groups, be able to stand out no matter how much others think I am weird.

  1. be able to stay silent if I don't feel like speaking instead of getting anxious and becoming desperate to make conversation.

  2. stop trying to act the comedian in the group to make everyone laugh.

  3. stop imitating others who receive more attention in groups. I want to know that it doesn't make them any better than me.

  4. stop disclosing everything about my life to others when they have no need to know it.

  5. know that I am not wrong if someone questions my choices or disagrees with me no matter how illogical it seems.

  6. be able to disagree without attacking the other person/group.

  7. be able to do things that I want to, rather than being held back by judgements of others.

  8. stop feeling endlessly obligated to people who helped me in some point of life.

How do I achieve this state?