How to act alpha and command respect without talking a lot?

seekere · 2014-07-20T19:36:53+00:00

It's ok if you sit back and let others talk once in a while, but to look cool and distant takes some effort.

Posture is number 1. This is especially true if you're at a party or rush event. When I was rushing kids, I saw plenty of guys that weren't saying much. It was immediately obvious, however, which kids were boners almost exclusively on the way that they stood with a beer in their hands. Most importantly, stand up straight (don't bend your knees to relax like a 13 year old girl) and keep your hands out of your pockets.

Obviously talking is number two. When you do speak with someone, eye contact, take a deep breath and don't rush your speech. Ask people questions. Questions that lead to explanation and not just answers. Not just "what are you studying", but "what got you interested in that?" or "where do you see that path taking you?"

Last, you mentioned you have trouble talking in groups. That's totally alright, but be prepared for this one to be thrown at you by a girl: "You're so quiet." Best response I've ever heard was "Does that scare you?" It's funny, mysterious and an ice breaker. Most important thing to do after is move the conversation along. Don't let them sit and think, bring up something, ask them a question. You can even go on and say "Maybe you just talk too much."

Manuel_S · 2014-07-20T20:45:40+00:00

I'd say its an asset for you, not a flaw. Use it as such, own the fuck out of it, use it to get out of trouble sometimes.

You can use it to your advantage. If you wish to acknowledge your difficulty sometime, do it with a smile and a wink, like "got me a little block, anybody noticed?" - and then continue. Its a social faux pax to nail someone for a speech impediment or so, it'll actually give you a sort of leeway. If what you are is in trouble getting an answer together, not your block - people will assume its the block :)
You can also use amused mastery to acknowledge it "what, you didn't notice?" as if they were slow.
Dominant, wide pose. Walk w/ dick forward (yeah, I know how it sounds).
Look people straight in the eye, speak slowly and deliberately as a rule - train yourself to this.
If the block comes, do not give that look of embarrassment, just continue until you manage as if it were the most natural thing in the world. While you're doing it, stare them confidently.
You're the buff, fun, alpha guy with a slight speech impediment everybody wants to be around and will cheer on when speaking. Make it so.

jamieoneal82 · 2014-07-20T19:37:55+00:00

You can use this to your advantage. One of the big mistakes a lot of people make is talking too much anyway. Use fewer words. Short, concise sentences sound more authoritative. Listen more, jump in when you actually have something important, insightful or witty to say. You'll actually appear more mysterious and it'll be easier to achieve amused mastery.

Edit: another useful tip would be to just laugh or chuckle at things people say. As if you you're slightly amused but don't feel like sharing your insight right now.

kami_kakushi · 2014-07-20T22:35:20+00:00

I have a speech disfluency called a silent block

be careful what you choose to label yourself. here you are labeling yourself as having a speech problem, it might be helpful to drop that label

im a depressive, im big boned, im ugly, im unlucky, i have some medical issue .... internalises the idea that it is a part of you and you cant change it.

here is a guy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eOJaprDCDA

he got over his stutter mainly by removing it from his identity, he stopped calling himself a stutterer .... and he got over it

a lot of people think this vid is faked .... ive seen rashad irl, it isnt fake.

Title	How to act alpha and command respect without talking a lot?
Author	seekere
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	July 20, 2014 6:46 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2b883j/how_to_act_alpha_and_command_respect_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-act-alpha-and-command-respect-without.140813 https://theredarchive.com/post/140813

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