Ive only had one ltr, which was a painful one so ive avoided intimacy since, and have distanced myself emotionally from girls i fuck. However while travelling abroad i slept with a girl on my tour group early on, and thus was kinda stuck im a kind of relationship for 2 weeks. Which i didnt mind.

I started off relatively cold and distant, and the sex was really good, i felt like i could fuck her when i wanted and she was always wet. Then one day she says i need to be more affectionate, and she didn’t let me fuck her that night. So i started being more affectionate, eg. Cuddling and all that shit. But as soon as i let my wall down i could tell she wasn’t sexually attracted to me. Like it was suddenly noticeably harder to get her to have sex with me, and all she really wanted to do was cuddle n kiss.

This is what happened in my last relationship but over a much shorter space of time, as it was harder to openly up emotionally the first time. So whats the solution. Do i remain cold and distant to ensure they come back. Is there a clever way to be affectionate and intimate, but prevent them from being turned off by it?

Thanks