How to be stoic without being a pushover?

thrwy75479 · 2020-02-19T01:21:53+00:00

[removed]

Domebeers · 2020-02-18T19:37:09+00:00

Have you read Meditations, my dude?

boy_named_su · 2020-02-18T22:34:01+00:00

I often wonder where we should draw the line between letting things go and standing up for ourselves

Can you control the outcome, at least to some degree? If so, do something about it

You let things go that you cannot control

Say a guy disrespects you, surely you speak up, calmly but without hurt or hesitation? Where would the line between stoic and standing up for yourself be?

You can't control someone's opinion of you. You are who you are. They are who they are, and are unlikely to change.

In what way is he disrespecting you? If you did something "bad", then he is right to admonish you, though not disrespectfully, and that's on him, not you.

If you didn't do anything bad, then he is wrong to admonish you

A concrete example would help

Cryptomineand69 · 2020-02-19T03:28:34+00:00

You have to pick your battles from a logical standpoint by weighing out repercussions and net gain from interactions. But you must never be passive- only if you are playing a longer tactical games

You can’t purely rely on stoicism. You must also weigh in biological repercussions and Machiavellian tactics.

Example: you’re at a bar and some random dude comes up to you and pours a drink on your head.

-you can let him disrespect you and hamster it out by saying “I’m above this it’s not worth it because if I fight him i can go to jail and get arrested and it will cost me a lot of money also what if I kill him or he kills me”

-the biological repercussion for for letting people disrespect you is that you are training yourself to be a passive and less dominant man and using stoicism to justify this. Less dominance means less biological reproductive options, and lowered testosterone.

-a Machiavellian response for disrespect would be to pretend that someone is above you and is allowed to disrespect you as part of a covert/long term game (example would be in a business environment where someone may have authority over you) and then you covertly destroy that person and crush them completely.

Don’t use stoicism as an excuse to be passive.

RPNorvell · 2020-02-18T20:32:07+00:00

Don't mistake kindness for weakness.

theUnBannableHulk · 2020-02-18T23:59:36+00:00

Stoically smashing their face always seems to work for me

Then stoically pissing over their knocked out body to assert stoical dominance also works

Finally, squatting stoically over their face and letting out the stoicest Of farts seems to finish them off pretty stoically as well.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-02-19T01:39:35+00:00

Saying "no" is usually the easiest option and any feelings of discomfort or inconvenience this may cause other people, are temporary and vain. They'll get over it.

The more that someone feels they need someone else to do something for them, generally the less good it is for them.

Title	How to be stoic without being a pushover?
Author	_nein_danke
Upvotes	5
Comments	25
Date	February 18, 2020 7:27 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/f5x7cf/how_to_be_stoic_without_being_a_pushover/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-be-stoic-without-being-a-pushover.339144 https://theredarchive.com/post/339144

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