How to command respect among men?

ItsDantesWorld · 2021-02-22T23:12:42+00:00

I care too much about being superior or likable.

Your problem is you care about being likeable.

Trying to appease, be liked -- those are traits of a FOLLOWER.

I have always been a leader since I came out the womb -- ENFJ personality type. This is what I did -- I lived MY life, and people gravitated towards me, because I was leading myself.

I went to the playground with 10 different toy guns, playing by myself, until the older kids asked to play with me. After that day I became the de-facto leader of the neighborhood kids and we played Soldier every single day. God damn those were the good old days.

You want respect from men? Get muscular and learn how to fight.

After you do that, master communication. Your body will speak for you, but for the guys who try to test you, ya need to learn how to convey "you don't want this" without explicitly saying it.

Self-depreciation is good for when you're around the boys -- it's good to be humble, we are imperfect. But remember you are also strong. Talk yourself up as much, if not more than you joke about yourself. That's another key -- IT's A JOKE! You don't beat yourself up and say "oh I suck at XYZ, I'll never be good," you just make a joke about a reality and move on.

PatternEast7185 · 2021-02-22T23:22:02+00:00

The book The Way of Men by Jack Donovan gave me some good insights into this question. worth checking out. he basically makes the distinction between being a good man, and being good at being a man.

MarkMy_Word · 2021-02-22T23:40:22+00:00

You shouldn’t be striving to be likable or the “king” of a convo. Other dudes know when you’re trying too hard to be likable/noticed. You already know dudes won’t respect you if you’re a beta bitch (unless they’re betas too), but have confidence in the way you talk and don’t act emotional.

Just be yourself & if you have a chance to partake or add a piece in the conversation do so. But don’t wait for every opportunity to try to get into someone’s convo to make yourself known. Also, don’t let people walk over/disrespect you. There is no way a man who will respect another man that is a doormat. Respect yourself first before you command/seek it from others.

jverveslayer · 2021-02-23T00:19:56+00:00

You provide value. That's the most important thing by far. You have some sort of connections, resources, expertise, etc, to share with others. Or maybe you organize shit. Maybe you're hilarious, or just fun to be around. You can't be weird or drag the group down.

Drewsef916 · 2021-02-23T00:43:22+00:00

This post reeks of validation-seeking and supplication. Because its all about what others think and feel about you.

Bottom line the only persons respect that matters is your own. Self-respect is king. You shouldn't give a fuck what others think about you or if they respect you. You should just do what you want, take what you want, and live how you want.. if others get in your way..then they face the consequences. Earning respect is a by-product of living this.

Snowboard18 · 2021-02-23T00:11:21+00:00

Stop caring about being superior or likable, the alphas that are respected by others don’t really think about this bullshit unless they are a narcissist, which IS NOT something you should aspire to be.

Narcissists are just insecure little pricks with little to no sense of self. Instead, you can display some traits of a narcissist like confidence and putting yourself first, but don’t do it out of a place of insecurity.

So, How do you command respect among men??

Be a man worth respecting. No little tricks, no fake alpha bs. Actually BECOME a man that is worth respecting. A man worth respecting is working hard to increase his smv, working hard on his purpose and to achieve his goals, he is cool to be around yet doesn’t let anyone walk all over him, he is fully comfortable in who he is so he doesn’t need anyone else’s approval for validation/confidence. He derives his validation/confidence from himself.

lilgreg1 · 2021-02-23T01:15:28+00:00

Do something respectable. Find something meaningful to live for and eventually you'll be sought out to inspire others around you to do the same. Can't or haven't found something worth living for? Find something worth dying for. Worst case scenario your life is put to a greater cause and best case, you gain a little bit of worship from the same people that betrayed, denied or disrespected you a la Jesus of Nazareth.

Respect is earned, not given. Get to work.

Fookin_Crispy · 2021-02-23T03:04:05+00:00

I was always the introverted, quiet and hardworking guy. Anytime a project showed up in college the group of people we were placed with always looked to me for direction and would quiet down while I spoke (I wasn’t the smartest and was always open to ideas). I never tried to put anybody down, but I noticed I had a level of gravity to my suggestions that other men and women in the group didn’t have.

I got comments like “natural born leader” or “charming” and went along with it even though I didn’t see myself that way.

Two things that shifted people’s view of me is LIFTING (bodybuilding focus). I seem to have a solid presence now instead of blending in. Second acknowledging the ideas of others and finding ways to cooperate with others instead of compete with them. We all hate the guy that tries to one up the other in every instance.

reddit_hypnosis · 2021-02-23T10:26:19+00:00

Its hard to 'command' respect. But you can earn it. You can earn the respect of people in the smallest of ways sometimes. Being on time or even early. Not wasting peoples time. Having a clean work area. Dressing appropriately. Have a neat haircut and keeping your grooming neat. Listening. Having a clean car.

Hell, I have one casual friend I respect more than anyone else because this dude does EVERYTHING right. If hes going to start it, hes doing it right. If hes going to start it, hes going to finish it. Hes not going to half ass it, or do it cheaply. Hes not going to take the easy way out. Hes not going to brag about it. Hes not going to talk down to you because you do it differently.

Did I mention that hes maybe 5'7" and chubby while Im 6'4"? He also drives Uber in his spare time because he got fucked by a divorce and child support, even though hes an engineer for the state.

Title	How to command respect among men?
Author	homowithherpes
Upvotes	8
Comments	10
Date	February 22, 2021 10:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/lq29pw/how_to_command_respect_among_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-command-respect-among-men.744840 https://theredarchive.com/post/744840

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