How to construct a replacement for my useless identity?

uncagethewolf · 2015-09-23T01:38:07+00:00

It is a tough pill to swallow, being led to believe one thing and find out that it has all been very untrue. There are 2 books I would read first:

Mike Cernovich's Gorilla Mindet

and

No Mr. Nice Guy

Also, make sure you are getting adequate sleep, nutrition and are lifting.

TomMorrow2 · 2015-09-23T03:20:25+00:00

You cry into your pillow, you can't figure out why you're going to be so alone. You contemplate suicide etc. Or you learn from others' and you start lifting now-stimulate physical and chemical and mental changes. It sounds crazy but I wish that I had found this stuff at your point, seriously go to the gym.

Continuing on you do the monk mode thing, since discovering trp i've moved around the country twice to places i literally knew NO ONE for varying careers, and started to go to the gym. It's actually relieving knowing that if I mess up an approach, or mess up at the gym, or mess up at work, or etc etc I can leave and only four or five people would really notice. Heartbreaking when there's millions of people around me in the city; but that's the reality.

RP-Doctor · 2015-09-23T06:35:12+00:00

So I spent my entire life expecting to find my emotional anchor in someone

I realized I was guilty of this as well. I actually lost out on a lot of good friendships because I spent too much time developing an emotional dependency on someone who could leave at a moments notice (and did).

this desire a feminine quality that is incompatible with my happiness

Oddly enough, the breakup of mine that hurt the least was my first. Dated her for 3 years in high school and broke up with her the summer before college. I mean, I definitely didn't love her, but I never thought twice about breaking up with her once I realized I was only wasting time. For being a complete beta in all other aspects of life, I was actually fairly RP with her. Since then, I've gotten far more attached to my LTRs, and when I broke up with them I felt extremely lost.

The difference? I had a really solid group of friends in high school, and I was content with everything I had in my life (because I was young and didn't think twice about anything). I knew I'd still be happy alone. After we broke up I wasn't focused on finding another girl, I just lived my life. Meanwhile, I got too involved with a LTR early in college, fucked up my ability to form a really strong group of guy friends, and when it ended I was lost. I felt like I needed to hookup with girls right away to regain my anchor. That's when I realized that happiness based on a significant other isn't really happiness. It's a nice, temporary shelter, that's it. It's up to you to prepare for what's outside, and you shouldn't be getting into a relationship unless you're completely okay without one.

Title	How to construct a replacement for my useless identity?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	September 23, 2015 12:23 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3m0729/how_to_construct_a_replacement_for_my_useless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-construct-a-replacement-for-my-useless.188930 https://theredarchive.com/post/188930

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