How to keep conversation

MotorsportEnthusiast · 2020-06-11T11:23:08+00:00

So you want to learn how to keep a conversation active? Why? Oh you think it’s stupid? I don’t think so. You’re stupid to think it’s being stupid.

You see? Just pick up on what they’re saying and go from there. It doesn’t even matter what you say, what matters is HOW you say it. You’ll learn with practice.

intl_plyrs_clb · 2020-06-11T18:52:52+00:00

Copied from a response I gave a while back:

Practice talking to EVERYONE. Man, woman, beast, or child; talk to them. Read something new everyday that interest you outside of your field of study or work, that will give you a war chest of topics to pull from overtime.

I used to be far too dependent on alcohol to socialize too. For me it came down:

Learning the art of small talk
Learning how to lead a conversation and push others into a conversation
Learning the art of small talk

People always complain about hating small talk, but I think what they really hate is when small talk leads nowhere. Small talk is a jumping board. Seriously ask people about anything if there is a conversational void such as:

The weather
What they're drinking / eating
Something unique they're wearing
The immediate environment
If they have any vacation plans coming up
What they did last weekend / are going to do this upcoming weekend.
Really anything. Humans love to talk.

I know how cliche and boring the topics sound, but if you approach the person you're asking with genuine interest and focus it tends to work out.

Small talk is like waving around a metal detector at the beach, you'll get faint beeps, but as you wave back and forth with different topics you'll hit something and the detector starts beeping like crazy. Zero in on that topic.

Now just spewing random topics out rapid-fire is going to be awkward which is where the second point comes in. (Also note: Some people are also just socially inept. End the conversation and move onto the next person.)

Learning how to lead a conversation and push others into a conversation

Sometimes you have to push someone along a path while you're making small talk. Think of yourself like the director of a movie and the person you're talking to is an actor. You need to give them directions:

purposefully misinterpret what they said
repeat what they said with a new twist
ask about small details
ask them to fast forward or back up in their story look at things from different angles
feign ignorance
have them fill in the gaps of your ignorance
look for unexpected humor
who, what, how, why, and when questions are your friends when starting out.

Be sure to also give back to the conversation yourself otherwise you'll just be interviewing the person you're speaking to. Give them a break from talking once in a while, but then toss the "speaking ball" back to them liberally.

catz123456 · 2020-06-11T16:48:47+00:00

If you're "covering topics" and going through a checklist in your head you're doing it wrong. Dates like that lack sexual escalation. You start somewhere and build on it let it flow naturally. You get better at it the more you go on dates.

Title	How to keep conversation
Author	spartanblood1
Upvotes	9
Comments	13
Date	June 11, 2020 11:08 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/h0x9kq/how_to_keep_conversation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-keep-conversation.673526 https://theredarchive.com/post/673526

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