So I go out with a girl off tinder. cute girl.

we meet up and i dont know the area well so we start walking through the city centre. shes quiet, seems shy.

settle on a random pub and go inside. its not intimate at all. end up sitting at this awful table on awkward high chairs across from eachother. no chance to esculate or touch her.

start with drinks and she cant drink because shes on antibiotics.

conversation is slow from here. I manage to keep it going for the whole date with only a few awkward pauses, but conversation mainly focuses around the same 2-3 topics about her because that seems to be the only thing she opens up about and has anything to say about.

finally ive had enough, say lets get out of here. walk to her bus stop, get an awkward half hug and leave. i delete her number, hard next, no point trying to fix something thats broken, ill just go on a new date instead of trying to date her again.

the problem is half of me feels like its on her. she was shy/quiet, didnt have much to say. she was nice enough, but there just didnt see to be much going on. this is made worse by the fact that on the phone she was making lots of sexual innuendo and stuff. judging from our chats on there I thought this was gonna be an easy first date lay.

then the other half says no, its entirely my fault, had I behaved differently, lead more, it could have been better. I think the moment we walked in the pub I should have said no, i want somethng more intimate so we can sit next to eachother.

Overall I'm not feeling too bad, buts its hard not to get yourself down and beat yourself up. i got a few more dates lined up this week. One thing I'm gonn take away it setting a more playful and fun tone right from the get go. but right now I just feel relly shitty about it all.