How to reduce the need for external validation?

Dttrpthrowaway1 · 2019-09-22T11:13:22+00:00

Not sure of this myself, I think we all need it.. but over reliance on it makes you hollow and weak (dependent)

FereallyRed · 2019-09-22T11:56:27+00:00

Dick Proenneke in Alone in the Wilderness

Dick Proenneke in Alone in the Wilderness part II

Tell me again why having social media followers is important?

thrwy75479 · 2019-09-22T11:23:30+00:00

So what if you want more? Let that propel you to a career that involves having a public image.

Fuktiga_mejmejs · 2019-09-22T12:05:54+00:00

Hey, in the end you only got yourself.

masterpiece00 · 2019-09-22T14:31:59+00:00

Yeah get off reddit/faceberg.

Siyuen_Tea · 2019-09-22T15:01:22+00:00

The trick to this is friends. Having a small group of friends that you can shit on and be shat on without it becoming personal. That best friends group will help you get validation without having to go to far outward. It's difficult and requires you to self validate at least at the beginning.

BigRedTea · 2019-09-22T15:12:50+00:00

The short answer is get validation from yourself.

The long answer is build a circle of confidence around yourself and find a few good friends. Keep those friends and build each other up. Make sure these people have strong life goals and are making progress. Challenge yourself to grow.

Don't be close friends or waste your time with people who are stoners or waste away playing hundreds of hours of video games a week. Get a job, be amazing at that job, get hobbies, be good as those as well, lift, get fucking strong. Challenge yourself with hard goals, learn a new skill, build something take up woodworking.

When you validate yourself by accomplishing goals you have less need for external validation. I went monk mode for a while and now I have confidence in myself and don't give two fucks about other people and their negging, criticism, or bullshit.

I'm not saying be an arrogant prick dick head, but don't be a beta bitch either. Be humble but build confidence in yourself so your foundation doesn't crumble when someone talks shit.

Your desperate need for validation comes from a place of low self confidence. Yes humans need it in some way shape or form but they can be handled in different ways. Friends, family, relationships, work relationships, etc...

Accomplish this and your need for external validation will almost disappear. Thirst for women or desperation is a different animal but is handled much the same way. When you have confidence and control you stop putting pussy on a pedestal and start believing you are the prize. Then it's very easy to apply the concepts in the sidebar to women and getting what you want.

Good luck.

Atheist_Utopia · 2019-09-22T15:43:08+00:00

m e d i t a t i o n

johncillo · 2019-09-22T17:35:42+00:00

I think I can help because I was dependent on this some time ago. The trick here is to ask yourself prior any decision 4 questions: 1. Who am I?: this will help you see yourself in this specific moment, your emotions and dreams. 2. What do I want? 3. What do I need? 4. What do I deserve?

It’s tough because sometimes external validation disguises as a need or want, but using meditation you might recognize when this happens.

Have a nice journey my friend.

Ant1matter8 · 2019-09-22T14:55:25+00:00

Be born psychopathic or abused the fuck out and acquire psychopathic traits.

Title	How to reduce the need for external validation?
Author	2fassy
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	September 22, 2019 11:05 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d7ozo4/how_to_reduce_the_need_for_external_validation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-reduce-the-need-for-external-validation.288068 https://theredarchive.com/post/288068

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