20yo here, need some advice. I´m dating this girl, I think I'm in love with her, and she's in love with me. But these days I've been losing sleep about the fact that, after we met online and texted for days/facetimed like we were going to start a relationship, she fucked some random guy when we were texting all cute. And didn't tell me about it. Until when I first dumped her, some months ago. At that moment, I said I didn't care because at that time we hadn't even seen each other. We met online. I've fallen for her these days, and thanks to that I keep thinking about when she lied to me like that. How we were talking FaceTime like a couple and next day she was with this rando, or how she was fucked in the same bed we do all our stuff.

I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. About being special, for example. If I saw this girl on the street, I wouldn't look at her twice. We don't have a lot of things in common, and I hate some of the stuff she likes. If I can fall in love with her, I can fall in love with anyone.

I'm also an hypocrite. She cried a lot when I told her what was bothering me, and told me she loves me beyond what I could comprehend. She really does. But I cheated on her. When I dumped her I told her I couldn't like her since if I didn't like myself, and that I almost hooked up with my ex. A month later, I hooked up with my ex. I feel like shit because of that. I would never tell her, because now I know what it feels like to be betrayed. But it isn't even like fucking that. My stuff is childish, we weren't a couple when she hooked up with the guy. Im never going to tell her, it would break her.

As I mentioned before, I don't really like a lot of stuff about her. She lives an hour away from me. She isn't in uni yet. But I'm in love. Maybe I really like the attention. But I've told her I love her. I know I do. How could that be true, if I'm thinking about dumping her like this? I'm improving myself right now, going to the gym/ grinding in school and work. And I think, in some month, I'll be able to score real hot girls.

As you guys can tell, I'm not redpilled. I'm asking in this sub because I know you guys are "alpha"/experienced with women.

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I don't want to hurt this girl. How can I let this dumb shit go? What should I do? Should I just own it? She tells me she has never liked someone like me, besides being the best fuck she's ever had. I know you guys must think it's bullshit, but like I said, she's a good girl.