21 year old kissless virgin. Have had extreme trouble with showing intimacy throughout my life. When I was younger and any interest of girl I had was implied everybody in my family would make a huge deal about it, as if being a normal sexual male was outside my character. I've internalized this and it has ruined me. In high school and college I had the interest of many girls but would never show that I was attracted, instead just feeding my ego telling myself I could get her if I wanted. Sick of this condition, I planned a big trip to stop being a pussy and just do it. Been traveling around for a few months and have met many great people, I'm good looking and a great conversationalist so naturally in that environment I had the attention of woman. Many times it would be obvious they were waiting for me to make the move but I would freeze up. It feels wrong to show that I'm a sexual being overtly through touch. Again last night this happened and I could tell afterwards she was disappointed. She left this morning and ever since I fell into a serious downward spiral. I just can't seem to do it. I've felt regret like this before but in the moment those memories mean nothing. Anybody here had a similar problem? How do I keep myself from wasting my life?