Crosspost "Me [28 M] with my Sister [34 F] disagree about her facbook stalking my dates" from /r/relationships:

My [28 M] sister [34 F] uses any information I give her about who I'm seeing to basically facebook background check them. It makes me very uncomfortable and makes me want to keep my romantic life private from my family.

Some lead up: My family went out to dinner the other week and I told them I had gone on a nice date with a girl. They asked her name and I told them. They asked what she does and I told them that too. While mid conversation, my BIL already had her profile up on his phone and asks "is this her?". I said no, and told him a different last name of someone who clearly isn't my type. Which was a joke. Maybe a bad joke but a joke none the less.

Fast forward: This weekend my entire family is spending Friday and Saturday night at a waterpark resort. I don't like waterparks or resorts much but they have kids so it makes sense as a family trip. I called her to let her know I would be coming up Saturday morning because there is a concert I want to go see. She used that as a springboard to call me a liar (because of the joke). I got defensive and told her that digging into the facebook of someone I have gone on 2-3 dates with is weird and makes me super uncomfortable. To which she vehemently disagreed.

This was, by no means, a constructive conversation. She likes to take the Ann Coulter approach to arguments and knows how to get me flustered.

She claims that I don't open up about my relationships and that forces her to search facebook. I am private but that is because my family is very judgmental and catty. My last long-term gf always hated spending time with them because they made her feel unwelcome, and I always felt caught in the middle.

I also understand wanting to know who I am going out with but I am trying to casually date, and don't know if I want anything serious. I will open up about who I am seeing if or when I decide to (for want of a better term) go steady.

My question is how can I get her to see that it is creepy, weird, and inappropriate to dig into social media to background check who I have just started seeing? Or am I crazy and this is totally normal?

TL;DR: My sister insists on doing social media background checks on women I have only gone on a couple dates with and I want her to stop.


Posted by BoMcC | 4 May 2018 | Link