First ever girlfriend, been togethor on and off 2-3 years ussually me breaking up, then everytime i get drunk i get bored n think of her and call her (without sounding needy at all) our relationship then eventually reengages, this girl dies to be with me, for years i abuse drugs multiple times a week and wanted to set my life straight and broke up with her for good a couple months back with the hopes of focusing on myself but yeah a month later got intensely blackout drunk and called her and we talk/fuck now i agreed to change the breakup into a "break" to fix myself and if all gos well we get back togethor but this didnt turn out well i constantly contacted her and she was always going out, i feel regret for contacting her she sais she wants to get back with me and wants to be with noone else but me but i already know shes chatting to other guys she gos out almost every weekend it seems this time her interest has diminished alot in me, she would never club for the risk of losing me. But now she does and it sorts bothers me but i called breaks so really it shouldnt.

I seen her lack of interest n told her we cant get vack togethor few days ago and to end things becaude i need to work on myself, she was crying lots but because of her returning things to me we ended up hanging out and really didnt feel like a breakup. But yeah its a breakup but i got a feeling shes going to text me really soon and say whatever to get back or if shes trying someone else shell do it if thst doesnt work out. I sort of feel like a loser now, it seems up untill now she was in my frame the whole time but now im sort of in hers.