I swallowed the Red Pill last summer. For me, this moment was a life changing experience. I remember reading the "Rational Male" and experienced emotions from embarrassment for past actions, anger, and straight up - holy shit. I have thoroughly implemented the sidebar in my life to "success". Even though I've never had issues with women (genetics). I always felt like I was missing something, and couldn't understand relationships. I became, and still am obsessed with researching the manosphere.

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In the last year I have behaved like a sidebar incarnate. I have spun plates, ONSs, (I was already lifting), even tried to train plates to become LTRs, but it has left me feeling miserable about this world. Seeing things for what they really are has almost broken me as a man. One such experience was a 30 year old woman that I had been seeing. I had never checked her social media before following through and a few days after hooking up with her I saw a post about how much she loves her fiance that same day. It's not that I did what I did, it's that this is the reality of the world we live in. It's the fucking fantasy land that men are living in depresses me to no end. We all know she does this a lot, maybe every week and guys like me cuck him.

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Over the last couple months I have become very cynical about relationships and women. I'll set up dates with girls that 6 months ago I would have been all over, only to flake on them. I've abandoned all hope of a female providing value in my life and turned my back on all females that were a part of my life. I can't find a way out of this mentality and even my work is suffering from this. I have kept my anchor in my fitness, but mentally I am in a dark place.

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Have any of you felt this way? If so, what broke you out of this?