Is mateguarding warranted sometimes?

Musicgoon · 2020-12-14T01:22:52+00:00

Mateguarding is never warranted. Have abundance and never be afraid to walk away. You never depend on a woman for intimacy or validation. ALWAYS put yourself first.

HumanSockPuppet · 2020-12-14T03:25:30+00:00

There's a distinction here that is critical to understand.

Under circumstances of attraction (that is, the girl is definitely attracted to you and believes you to be the best of her available options), then mate guarding occurs in two arenas: the social, and the physical.

A woman who is attracted to you will mate guard herself in the social arena. She will deflect and redirect attempts by competitors to win her over, and no intervention is necessary on your part. In most civilized situations, a man's attempts to steal away your woman will begin and end in the social arena. He'll get shot down, or realize before things get too embarrassing for him that he's not winning her over, and he'll shift his efforts to another target.
However, in some circumstances, a man will persist and try to move from the social arena into the physical arena. He will do this by placing hands on her, and trying to physically move or isolate her. When the situation moves into the physical, this is the time for you to intervene. He is placing his mitts on your property, on your investment, and he needs to be reminded that there are boundaries in place and you will actively enforce them. You needn't start a fight, but you need to indicate that you are prepared to do so in defense of your woman. The best approach is generally to escalate with threats of involving law enforcement or superior situational leverage (knowing the venue, the bartender, the bouncer, etc), and showing a willingness to throw hands if he doesn't step off.

However, the situation you, OP, have brought up, does not fall under either of these categories. What you have described is what I call a bait guard - a kind of shit test.

Remember, genuine mate guarding is an attempt by a force outside of the relationship dynamic to move in and disrupt said relationship. The action is started by an outside actor.

When a woman signals other men into flirting with her in front of you and attempts to provoke a mate guarding action on your part, this is a shit test.

A woman who does this is not attracted to you. She suspects either that you're a bitch (you will not step in), or that you are a fool (that you will intervene in a situation that she obviously set up). The game is rigged.

So how do you win a rigged game? Simple. By not playing.

The appropriate response to a bait guard is to look directly at her, laugh, and leave her to her own devices. Go on with your night, flirt with other girls, and leave when it suits you. If you were her ride, leave and let her figure out her own way home.

Why such an extreme, thermonuclear response? Because bait guarding is disrespect in the highest degree. It warrants demotion by three levels on my Bitch Management Hierarchy. No matter what she was to you before, she is nothing to you now.

Protocol_Apollo · 2020-12-14T02:47:28+00:00

Me personally:

I rarely mateguard. But I do joke about literally owning the bitch (don’t copy this verbatim without any context, you can’t randomly say this).

Most of the time I follow the “Betas mategaurd, alphas discard” (if she fucks up) philosophy

And that a good ltr should mateguard herself

But lets ask him directly.

u/HumanSockPuppet

Project_Zero_Betas · 2020-12-14T02:24:33+00:00

Mate guarding is when theres another guy involved, you're not using it correctly. What you're talking about are boundaries.

Title	Is mateguarding warranted sometimes?
Author	Portobello36
Upvotes	1
Comments	11
Date	December 14, 2020 1:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/kcnelk/is_mateguarding_warranted_sometimes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-mateguarding-warranted-sometimes.522640 https://theredarchive.com/post/522640

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