I am a 31 year old male with little sexual experience and I've never had an actual girlfriend (I have made a similar post about this and my problems meeting new women -r/https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/8talse/how_do_i_talk_to_cute_girls_at_bars_without/

I am a decent looking guy who is in good physical shape (lean with some muscle), I'm a personal trainer that enjoys playing guitar and going out with friends, whether it's dinner, the beach, or the clubs. I have a pretty good social life other than the fact that I'm one of the only single people left among my peers.

I have gone on 4 dates in the last 2 months, none of them have resulted in a 2nd date, with my most recent failed date being this past Friday. My first two dates back in May and June were girls that were beautiful and the dates seemed to go well, but the first one kept finding excuses to avoid a 2nd date, while the other one was a little too young for me, and we didn't have much of a connection (though we did make out).

The 3rd date was with a girl that I haven't seen in high school. I had a huge crush on her back then but she never returned my feelings at the time and I was friendzoned. Fast forward about 11 years later and she hits me up on Instagram and we eventually agree to a date. I take her out to a Mexican Restaurant and then I take her to Guitar Center, thinking it was a fun activity for both of us since we liked the same music. After being in there for about a half hour and playing some songs on acoustic guitar for her, she made up some excuse and wanted to go ahead and leave, to which we ended the date with a hug and that was it. She would still respond to my texts now and again, but whenever I tried asking her out again she was unresponsive.

So besides a hookup with a mutual friend, I haven't gotten another date again until last week when I had matched with a girl on Bumble (almost rarely happens because of my location). Right off the bat, I can tell based off her texts that she was a kind of girl who was bubbly and a little on the dorky side, which is what I like. She was also gorgeous, and it's generally uncommon to find a girl I'm attracted to like that with that kind of personality. We agreed to a date at Mellow Mushroom in her local city (where I plan to move soon), and everything seems to be going well conversation wise. She laughed a lot, and dinner seemed to be going smooth. Then, for some stupid reason I stared too long at the bill and she asked, almost sounding reluctant, if I wanted to split it, to which I stupidly replied "yeah, we can". I don't know what I was thinking after saying that, it's like the filter in my brain wasn't working correctly! I tried to backpedal out of it and offered to pay the full bill but it was already too late.

So we proceed to the plan after dinner which was to go sing karaoke, and things seemed to get better after a few drinks and some songs (I told her I'd pay for the drinks). But then some guy started talking to her alot and was trying to get her to sing a duet with him. I just decided to go to the bathroom rather then just sit there like a jealous jackass, but he was still there when I got back. Finally, he left and I tried to joke about it by saying "you guys look like you'd make a cute couple" and she told me the dude was completely gay. I didn't even see it until she told me, but she was right.

So now things feel super awkward - up until this point, I felt like we were having a great conversation and getting along (I did do some small touches here and there, pat on the back or shoulder, knee, non-sexual places). Finally, I was just sitting there feeling like I was already screwed, and she was gradually getting more and more on her phone to text. I decided to make up a fake story about how I had a date in the past that didn't want me to pay for her meal, and I had been hesitant about it ever since, and then I said I had a little anxiety, which again in my head, I'm thinking "why would you say that!?". I honestly believe now that I do suffer from anxiety, but I should've known better about saying it out loud on a date.

So we ended up leaving soon after, I walked her to her car and she offered to drive me to mine since I parked kind of far. We were still talking and having a few laughs, so I asked her if I'd get a 2nd date, to which she smiled and said "yeah, maybe", and made a tentative agreement to go to Dave and Busters one day soon. I text her later that night and again the next afternoon but she hasn't replied once - she was very responsive to texts (even texting more than I was) before the date, now she won't even talk to me. I sabotaged a date with a fantastic beautiful woman and now I truly feel like I have some sort of anxiety or mental problem that I can't overcome.

I plan on going back to therapy (I've gone before for relationship and other issues) to see if I can get a hold of what's going on with me, and why I can't connect with a girl and always wind up doing or saying things that are otherwise not part of my personality. Does anyone have any advice based off of my story on how to go about this? Has anyone been through the same constant 1st date slump? I've been lucky to even get this many dates in this time span, and I have almost never gotten past the 1st date. Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks.

(Additional note: I made this post a month ago but had another first date about two weeks ago - I took her out to eat and went to see a movie. I thought it had gone well and I kissed her at the end of it, but she seems to keep blowing me off anytime I try to get a second date with her. This would make it failed date #5 in a 3-month time span. Some of my friends are suggesting now that I ask the next girl out on a double date, as this might make it better for me to just be myself and relax.)