Joking and Insecurity

a-large-L · 2019-11-06T21:26:42+00:00

Just stop joking around at work, I used to a be goofball motherfucker at work and in general as well. I started getting into my more masculine frame and I got treated better at work generally from all, females especially. I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with any work drama or anything like that which is very easy to get pulled into when you’re being a goofy ass.

I’d just nip it in the bud entirely, sparing some few light “Ha.” Get your work done, get paid, leave the joking and goofy shit for your homeboys. Keep it out of the workplace and dating.

empatheticapathetic · 2019-11-07T03:09:18+00:00

I used to make jokes every 10 seconds and thought I was hilarious, but in hindsight it was just exhausting for people. I was basically just constantly seeking approval.

I’ve managed to stop caring and develop self esteem and confidence in who I am regardless, but as a result I am nowhere near as funny or witty anymore.

DAOcomment2 · 2019-11-07T07:17:38+00:00

Joking more or less isn't going to change people's impression of you. Being stoic because you need to be respected and taken seriously is just as much of a reactive behavior as being a clown for validation. You've probably run into people who are very much alpha and always seem to be light-hearted and untroubled even though they're responsible for some serious shit. You've also run into people who are alpha and serious, not really caring which way they rub you.

Your body is constantly leaking your inner state in countless ways. The true self is always shining through. People want to hear that there is a tactic or technique to fix insecurity and the involuntary ways insecurity broadcasts itself. There's no quick fix. You already knew on some level but just wanted someone else to confirm it.

The long fix is to build real self esteem. Work on your insecurities, solve the ones you can, and just learn to better manage the ones you can't solve in your lifetime. Have a purpose in life, set goals towards it, and achieve meaningful goals you didn't think you were capable of, things you admire yourself for whenever you remember what you did, how you comported yourself, and who you were. Stack this proof of your value over and over again till the evidence of your worth is overwhelming.

Know your weaknesses, work on them, but then accept that you aren't perfect. Valuable and imperfect is all anyone gets to be and that's enough. Internalize this through lived achievement not intellectual self-hypnosis. Then at the core of your being you will be secure in your value and accepting of your imperfections. Anything you will then broadcast this underlying security inside you, just as anything you do now broadcasts underlying insecurity inside you.

NotBlackPhillip · 2019-11-06T21:30:32+00:00

it’s probably seen by some as a sign of insecurity.

Who gives a fuck?

mikkeldaman · 2019-11-07T07:33:10+00:00

Are you having fun joking around? If yes then you should keep doing it (but of course do your work as well).

Are you doing it to make people like you/feel more comfortable with you? Then you should probably tone it down.

smgtn · 2019-11-07T12:20:55+00:00

I think that the rule "What's too much is unhealthy" applies here. If you joke too much you will most likely be perceived as a clown, but if you occasionally make a good thought out joke you'll be perceived as a guy with good sense of humor. Seriously, chicks do like guys with good sense of humor. Jokes and (sexual) teasing is what makes a good date.

Title	Joking and Insecurity
Author	Jugurthajones87
Upvotes	18
Comments	25
Date	November 6, 2019 8:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dslzpx/joking_and_insecurity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/joking-and-insecurity.294272 https://theredarchive.com/post/294272

Comments