LTR 6 years breaking up

MaxLorenz · 2016-06-26T20:59:23+00:00

First, if you were not serious that you would break up with her if she left the house, then you should not have given her that ultimatum. You lose your power in the relationship when you start throwing around idle threats just to get your way.

If you want to keep this girl, you have to talk to her. You don't have to fix every issue or do everything she asks, but you have to listen and be open to talking about the relationship. (That's the difference between an LTR and a Fuck Buddy.)

You're in a tough position. If you agree to talk to her, she'll see your threat was empty and you lose power. If you don't talk to her, you lose the girl.

The typical TRP advice would be to dump her since she isn't responding to you and for you to have a strong frame you need to enforce the ultimatum you gave her.

If you want her back, though, you'll need to do some relationship Jiu Jitsu. You'll have to admit you made a mistake by issuing the ultimatum, and agree to talk to her. Then re-establish your strong frame during the discussion.

Note that having strong frame is not equal to being stubborn. It's knowing what you want and sticking to it. Again with the Jiu Jitsu, you can more easily win what you want if you agree to give up what you don't care about.

oprahsghost · 2016-06-26T21:16:27+00:00

What did you do for the two days that she cleaned your place and blew you? Like specifically?

ecosci · 2016-06-26T22:54:10+00:00

And guess what happens when you hear we need to talk its about her fucking another guy of course she will deny but its always another guy and she is doing things to keep you on a string in case things dont work out with him look for her to monkey branch and blame you for it but the other guy is meeting her needs and she is confused thats why sex is rare shes thinking about him so if you ever here those words again exit.She knows she has you on the ropes and you dont have boundaries by allowing her to act bitchy she doesnt respect you enough its a matter of time i hope im wrong.

verily_rp · 2016-06-27T04:00:03+00:00

"We need to talk."

"Damn straight we do. You've been holding out on sex with me for the past month and frankly I think you're cheating. Give me one good reason to think why you're not."

If she answers with anything but 'we're having sex tonight', kick her out. She's cheating. I guarantee it. No chick withdraws sex. Don't be manipulated with it. You're not some dog that can be treated with sex for good behavior. Have some self respect.

Anytime she mentions anything about having a 'talk' make your demands first. As if they're the only things that matter. And dismiss hers. I bet you she'll stop wanting to have these 'talks' real quick because they won't work out like she planned. They're supposed to shift the power dynamic but they're also a good way to flip the script and use it against her.

Apexk9 · 2016-06-26T20:36:07+00:00

If your relationship is hard end it and find someone who makes it easy.

Relationships are supposed to be easy if they ain't you aren't with the right person.

Title	LTR 6 years breaking up
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	11
Date	June 26, 2016 8:34 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4pzkq4/ltr_6_years_breaking_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-6-years-breaking-up.184971 https://theredarchive.com/post/184971

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