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[–]lietruth0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
If she feels like she's "doing all the work", it's clear that you're not taking on a leadership role. You're falling into her frame more than she's in yours.
Lead your girlfriend. Take charge. Decide what you two are going to do. Pass her shit tests, and her comfort tests (this was a comfort test and you failed).
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I decide what we're going to do, I make the decisions. That's why I'm unsure what she means. I think she's referring to the fact that I don't do anything for her and I don't care about any of her problems/emotions. Do you have any advice on staying in your own frame and not falling into hers?
[–]Surfincloud91 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You can comfort her and be kind and still be alpha. It depends on the reason you are doing that. You are in a long term relationship, you should want to be kind and genuinely help her grow as a human. Obviously you need to take the leadership role but LTRs do need some comfort and care.
[–]lietruth1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this OP.
[–]roseillus points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
What I told the other guy who commented was
I think my problem is drawing the line between too much comfort and too much asshole behaviour. I've been withdrawing comfort lately because she doesn't bring up sex/seem as enthusiastic about it as much as I am. This could just mean that she needs to be lead in regards to sex completely though and a problem doesn't even exist. Once we get into the actual thing, she's at 100%.
[–]Surfincloud90 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm the same way with my LTR. I sway heavily between way too much comfort and then I'll be the biggest asshole from time to time. I try to find a middle ground. My girl never doesn't wanna have sex though, only if we fuck everyday for a week cause I'm on pain killers and it takes me an hour to get off making her sore
[–]lietruth0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then it's a comfort thing. She doesn't feel cared for and that your passing her comfort tests. "Does he still love me?" Kind of thinking.
Don't placate, but search the main sub for crushing comfort tests.
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
A&A isn't always the answer. If you in the long game you are going to have to provide some comfort to keep her around.
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What would you have said?
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Assuming this isn't a normal thing, listen to her. Women want to express how they feel about something versus hearing you try to fix the issue. If she is being rediuculos I would call her out. If overall she is a good GF then these occasional things are OK. Then determine if a warm hug or passionate fuck is appropriate afterwards.
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Occasional comfort is okay if she's good?
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
100% it is necessary.
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But where's the line between too much comfort and too little?
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Have you read the side bar material? Sounds like no.
[–]badchad_isglad-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take charge or leave. There are plenty of girls out there who won't pull this crap. Make sure she knows this. Increase dread.
[–]Wallace68LeMay-3 points-2 points-1 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Ghost her for a minimum of 7-10 days, no contact whatsoever.
[–]roseillus2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That sounds like a dumb idea.
[–]1165834 points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Basic TRP shit can't be blindly applied into an LTR. Good on you for using your brain.
In an LTR you have to be careful because too much too quickly doesn't work. You have to move slowly enough for her to be able to process the new behaviors and information.
Educate her, don't expect her to learn.
[–]Wallace68LeMay-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I didn't know you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed.
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[–]lietruth0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Surfincloud91 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lietruth1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]roseillus points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Surfincloud90 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lietruth0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]roseillus0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dendsm111 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]badchad_isglad-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wallace68LeMay-3 points-2 points-1 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]roseillus2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]1165834 points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Wallace68LeMay-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link