Maintaining TRP and frame while working us service industry

FloranHunter · 2014-01-29T05:49:05+00:00

Been there. I never felt beta being nice to customers when they were clearly making an effort of being nice and friendly to me, which was the vast majority of them. That will vary depending on the restaurant of course, maybe you get a lot of cunts. In those rare cases I found it helpful to immediately go to the mindset of "wow look at this sad cunt acting up in a fastfood place" and assume the frame of basically laughing in their face as you do your most half-assed attempt to help them. For the people in between I'd just match their low energy level and be grateful for the mutual understanding that I don't need to act like a boy scout to take your order.

HumanSockPuppet · 2014-01-29T07:09:35+00:00

In most cultures I've spent time in, the idea of treating service industry workers with the utmost courtesy is pretty universal. They have to do what you say, so it is considered very poor taste to try and lord over them.

Whenever a customer disrespects you, look them in the eye for a couple of seconds. Remain silent just long enough for it to be uncomfortable for them and for anyone watching.

At that point, if it looks like your stare-down had some kind of effect, then comply with the least amount of effort or cordiality.

If they try to escalate with you, then you might considering asking them to leave. People aren't allowed to start fights in public.

maximumutility · 2014-01-29T05:53:36+00:00

Work is work, and when it comes to your tables it is probably best to put forth your effort in doing a good job, even if that brings out some beta traits (it's service work; you're expected to serve). You have more control when it comes to interacting with your coworkers, however. That's where you can focus on having strong frame.

RedPillD · 2014-01-29T05:57:13+00:00

I too work part time in a restaurant. I don't interact with them much since I work a different area but, most of the male waiters in my restaurant are surprisingly alpha. They act differently than the female waitresses. They take charge of their tables. They give off the vibe of "welcome to my domain". I know it is and feels like bitch tasks, but try re-framing it like taking care of your pack.

I don't know the policies in your restaurant but you can instead say "Let me know if you need anything else". Say it as if, you know they don't need anything right now because you are doing such a great job, and then leave. This will help weed out the less essential requests.

[deleted] · 2014-01-29T09:01:55+00:00

Thanks for the response. Thinking about it now, my manager is surprisingly alpha and he seems to have developed a friendship or at least familiarity with many customers after years of working there. Whenever he takes tables or works at the bar, it's as if they bend to his frame and depend on him to enjoy their time, rather than have him simply be there to accommodate their orders.

drallcom3 · 2014-01-29T13:18:16+00:00

Just suck it up and do it. If you would naturally love the job, you wouldn't get paid for it.

It's actually a good learning experience for you. Finish college asap or get stuck being a waiter for your whole life. It's something every man should do.

Sirinon · 2014-01-29T13:22:20+00:00

Do the job, Do it better than anyone else, do not stand for bullshit from your boss or irrational customers.

nothing wrong with being a good table waiter, if you are in the US you can make a killing off tips.

steadymotion · 2014-01-29T15:41:07+00:00

Your job is to provide good service. So do it. That's the alpha thing to do. When an alpha takes a job, he does it well. If people are bitchy towards you, be the better man, treat them like a little child acting up, and handle their shit calmly and with a grin.

You shouldn't have to force smiles. If you have to force it, don't smile at all. Either be genuinely happy to meet people, or smile because you find them juvenile, as you would smile at a little kid doing something ridiculous. But don't force a smile. That's what betas do.

Zackcid · 2014-01-30T01:19:44+00:00

I totally feelz ya! I'm in charge of maintaining and directing traffic in this big night club/bar/restaurant parking lot. While the rest of my life is enriching and TRP is doing wonders for me, I'm still "stuck" with those pity stares I get from some coworkers (from working outside in the freezing cold) and I gotta tell people where they can and can't park. Fortunately, I hold power over the customers and I can tell them where to park or if they act up, I can simply refuse their entry to the club.

Best thing I can recommend is that you mentally compartmentalize your job as being of "another dimension" of your alter ego. Don't take it serious/personally because it "isn't your real life". Sounds like some bullshit brainwashing, but it works.

Try to see if you can get away with not smiling too. If it's forced, then you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

Eventually (soon), look into finding another job. I've learned my lesson and I now know for certainty that my future career will have none of this service, false persona bullshit.

RedBigMan · 2014-01-30T09:33:17+00:00

Keep your personal and professional life separate.

Do your job and do it well. Own the shit out of it while you are doing it. Realize that you are being paid to be a bit beta but there are things you can do to let your alpha self shine through as other people suggested.

Keep an eye out for future opportunities. Don't let them slip through your fingers just because you are comfortable where you are currently.

Title	Maintaining TRP and frame while working us service industry
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	11
Date	January 29, 2014 5:25 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1wfxiz/maintaining_trp_and_frame_while_working_us/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/maintaining-trp-and-frame-while-working-us-service.138893 https://theredarchive.com/post/138893

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