Making friends without alcohol.

TRP83 · 2017-03-06T19:34:55+00:00

Hmmm, I dunnno. What's your motive for finding new friends? Just looking for some new people to meet and spend some time with, or are you looking for similar minded guys to go out and pick up women with?

As an artist, I'd say that the pottery class might not make for the best avenue to meet like minded guys. Most artists tend to be pretty liberal, probably a lot of blue pill guys there. If you can meet women there, then keep doing it. You might be better off trying to learn how to play an instrument and then meeting other musicians to jam and make some music. You don't have to learn how to play guitar and start shredding or anything, maybe something more simple like a bongo or harmonica, lol. Honestly, there aren't too many channels to meet other people through once you get older. After school is finished, meeting people is hard mode. If I were you I'd try to figure out what your own interests are and build from there.

If you're into standup comedy, look for some open mic nights locally and maybe hangout there? You could even try to do some standup yourself and try to hang out with other comics. I've been to a few, most of the comics aren't good but I've seen a few who weren't bad and pretty chill guys to talk to afterward.

You could also try hosting your own parties. Invite some of those "acquaintances" you know, plus a few new people you meet from wherever. Instead of waiting for someone else to provide a place for you to meet people, you might be better off creating your own. Maybe you could start hosting your own podcast. Pick a subject you want to talk about and pump out a few episodes on it, maybe even try to get some guests on it. The more entertaining you can make it, the more people will listen, plus being able to ramble about subjects articulately and with entertainment value would aid you in everyday conversations for picking up.

Just throwing random ideas out there, either way it's going to be up to you to start figuring out what works for you. As an artist, I'd be interested in hosting apartment galleries, where I could start hosting art shows in someone's apartment, but something like that would work for me. You need to find something that works for you. No one can tell you what that is, you're gonna have to find it on your own. When Neil Strauss started getting deep into the game, he started picking up new hobbies like lifting and surfing. Do what works for you.

shadyindividual · 2017-03-06T20:20:56+00:00

I believe that new friendships are formed through mutual interest. When I stopped smoking, it basically didn't give me a reason to hang out with my old buddies. Find new hobbies, make friends who enjoy those hobbies.

I_Crepe_Bitches · 2017-03-07T00:02:03+00:00

The true driver of male friendships is shared experience over time. This is why people form the strongest bonds when growing up, in college, in the military, etc.

Now that you're older, just playing ball with someone once a week isn't going to get you past the acquaintance stage unless you play on the same team with the same guys for years. To form the type of friendships you want, you have to share a profound experience.

I would recommend looking into something like Remote Year, or backpacking for 6 months etc. Something that will put you in touch with other men who are on a life-changing journey.

SpinPlates · 2017-03-07T00:27:26+00:00

I don't think I've ever made a lasting friend from a bar or club.

All of my true friends have been made through a mutual hobby.

dayone_27 · 2017-03-06T17:50:25+00:00

I'm interested to see other responses as I also feel in a similar situation at 28. Close friends have moved away, any new friendships will be acquaintances unless we really have a lot in common. I've taken up learning the language of my immigrant grandparents as I find I can strike up good friendships easily along cultural lines.

I also think when we are children we are surrounded by people and it is easy to make close friends. As we get older and as you are discovering, people move on and the friends you make are those you have an activity in common with which we would call acquaintances. I think that is okay, just have to accept it as the natural order of life.

Another option is to play the fame game. Become a celebrity so everyone will want to be your friend (thinking out loud here)

Lucius-Cincinnatus · 2017-03-06T23:29:10+00:00

Gun range. Gun ranges are a bastion of masculinity. I go there every Saturday with my buddy and we often meet other cool guys and end up meeting them for a beer later that night.

Everyone at gun ranges are usually really friendly and love a chance to talk about what they are shooting that day, their favorite guns, ect ect. They love to show off their stuff, talk about guy stuff, offer to let you shoot their guns.

Also, playing basketball at the gym. Competing as teammates with another guy / competing against.

youcantdenythat · 2017-03-06T18:17:01+00:00

Here, lmgtfy

Title	Making friends without alcohol.
Author	TRP83
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	March 6, 2017 3:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5xtvv7/making_friends_without_alcohol/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/making-friends-without-alcohol.83754 https://theredarchive.com/post/83754

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