I’m 33 and I got good at approaching women and getting numbers over the summer, then met this girl who I’ve decided made a good ltr, though some red flags are arising but I feel its more to do with me needing to manage some things.

I took her to my younger bro’s bday before new years and, while he and I have had a bit of a rocky relationship over the years (I kicked his gf out of my house because she was freeloading and demanding thibgs that she should have been grateful for like free rent), we had a great time. His gf was a designated driver and while I drank a bunch, my gf only had a couple. End of the night they drop us off at my place instead of my gfs vehicle as they claimed she drank. I explained she didnt drink much and they drew a hard line so I just told my gf its no problem I’ll drive her to her vehicle next morning. We had sex and went to bed.

I woke up next morning feeling good then realized she was crying because of how rude she said my bro and his gf were. I didnt remember much but she said my bro raised his voice at me (we both have done that over the years). But suddenly I felt this pain inside, like she had seen a guy yell at me and me backing down (I wasnt gonna get in a shouting match at 2am and was the bigger man). Anyway I feel she (and I for some reason) lost a bit of respect for me.

After new years I was still rattled and she noticed I was quiet one morning so wanted to know what was up. I just told her I was a bit stressed about work but nothing I cant handle. She would bring up my bro and his gf and how rude they were (its common in my family that each person has a story of my bros bitchy gf).

Anyway, prior to this she treated me like a god but just the other night I took her to a bar and we had each ordered a glass of wine. the waitress offered to sell us the rest of the bottle of wine for the difference so that it would be like we just bought a bottle of wine instead of 2 glasses. I said “are you offering to give us the rest of the bottle for the same price as these 2 glasses (so rest of bottle is free) and the waitress clarified that we would pay but get the difference, which I politely declined. Suddenly my gf turns to me and says “you need to be more assertive”.

I feel like I got in my own head after my bro “raised his voice” (even though Ive done worse to him over the years, but this happened in front of my gf so to her it seems bad) and I just took her out of a situation with those 2 toxic people. Now she is telling me to be assertive. I laughed it off (agree and amplify?) but I think at some point I need to tell her that is unnacceptable and I wont tolerate it. I also plan on confronting my bro so he never embarasses me in front of her again, otherwise I’ll have to knock some sense into him.

Any advice? This is my first ltr tbh and so Im just using this as a learning experience. Still trying to put myself first but I think for a while I had given her too much access. Thanks guys!