Need advice on my oneitis

[deleted] · 2014-05-30T19:27:34+00:00

You don't have time for this shit.

If you are working out (5-6 days a week, 1-1.5 hours a workout) then you don't have the time. If you are improving yourself (learning a language, studying your chosen field, starting an eBay business, writing a business plan...) you don't have the time. If you are engaging in your hobbies (rock climbing, marathons, sailing, flying, sky-diving...) then you don't have the fucking time to soak up her emotional menstruations.

Don't fucking worry about her -- worry about you, man. She already had her chance but she passed you up. If you need a motivation, then use that anger to drive the ambition to prove yourself.

You are too busy to be shoved up her twat all the time.

[deleted] · 2014-05-30T19:42:12+00:00

This is textbook, if it isnt already all over the place on this sub.

Next her. No matter what, you have to do this. You have self identified yourself as an orbiter, thats a step in the right direction. Every moment you spend not nexting her, you are losing attraction and continuing to make her think of you as "a nice guy she likes only as a friend).

You could powermove and throw everything out there, but i will bet my car, my motorcycle and my life that she would rather lose you as a friend than have you as more than a friend.

The power move wouldnt work because at this point you have NO power in the relationship. Its a one way street. She is getting validation and attention and (to a certain level) commitment, without you getting anything in return (anything you truly want that is).

We need to get you some real power, and thats going to come from taking the focus off of her and putting on yourself...

1) Lift - You will look better, feel better, be healthier, and you will build more confidence... Just stick it - Gun to your head mentality (workout - no matter what).

2) Next her tastefully - I wouldnt make it a big scene just stop contacting her (chances are if youre an orbiter she isnt going to reach out too much anyway unless she really likes your validation). Stop answering calls, keep texts short (like 2-3 words), and non-offensively patronizing. ("Oh cool", "For sure", "Sounds like fun!"). She will sense these are genuinely empty and she will not get her validation. if she presses more, ignore. I would give her 1 text response a day, IF she texts you first. No more liking anything she does on facebook, and ignore her completely on snap chat instagram or anything else. If she reaches out to you to make plans tell her your busy (you are working out, going on a date, etc). Prepare to do this for at least a month.

3) Change your persona - Get a new hair cut, change your attitude (lifting will help) buy new clothes, redefine you. If your one doesnt like your persona, chances are other girls of that caliber might be turned off as well. Embrace change, and focus on improving yourself, but you need to own it through and through - be congruent with who you are present yourself to be.

4) Date other people - She is not your girlfriend and should not be treated as such. You deserve someone who gives a shit about you (step #2 will prove she doesnt care about you mutually anyway). You need to get a reference of other women, and even possibly experience new heartbreaks. all this will help divest yourself emotionally from your Oneitis.

These steps will help you get your power and value back. She will take notice of the changes, and at this point if she is intrigued she will reach out to you. Dont run up on her in a month and be like "look at my gains, clothes, attitude and dates, dont ya want me?!". More than likely the ship has sailed and she wont change her mind, but this way you will keep your power and SMV high, and its going to be easier to get a similar caliber chick and you will be much less likely to get yourself in a similar situation.

Kind of a rant but I hope this helps bro!

followtheRaven · 2014-05-30T19:05:17+00:00

I think both options have the same cure. See other girls.

a) She will get jealous and wants what the other girls have. b) You are having fun with other girls, the ultimate distraction.

Hyooge · 2014-05-30T23:28:34+00:00

Grow some balls son.

Where's your self-respect at? Leave her the fuck alone, spend the time you would sucking her dick doing something productive you enjoy. You will feel respectful of yourself and powerful.

You will be a much happier person when you get on with your life and doing things you want to do. You will feel like a man.

Title	Need advice on my oneitis
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	10
Date	May 30, 2014 6:55 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/26wajk/need_advice_on_my_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/need-advice-on-my-oneitis.195359 https://theredarchive.com/post/195359

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