For a long time my wife has been the one working because we had a daughter and I was the one taking care of her because she had the higher paying job. Now that my daughter is 11, I finally got a job. Let me clarify that my wife has been supporting me and I do my part by playing house bitch so in a way I earn my keep.

Now that I have a job, I decided to opt for the paycard option instead of direct deposit into the joint account. My wife starts freaking out and saying it's stupid. She tells me she feels like her money is mine and what I earn now is mine. I tell her, the reason I put it on another card/account is that you make twice as much as me and still somehow end up with a negative balance. She then counters, well if we had your money in with mine that wouldn't happen. I just said depends. The next day she asks to have my gym membership go on my card which is fine. She wants to know how to get money if she needs it, and I told her to ask. She gets upset and says well you never ask me which is a half truth. I never ask for small stuff like 20 bucks or around there. If it's more than 50+ bucks I almost always ask unless there is a huge amount and what I am getting I know she'll have no probs with.

My thinking is that if I started putting what I earn in there I will soon have no say in how it's spent. I don't want to work a full day just to buy something I don't agree with. I don't really want my money going to my step daughter. She's 26 going on 30, never graduated high school or got a ged. She had 1 job she got fired from and that job was from a friend. She got fired because, twice she over slept because she spends all night on the pc. She was a live in caretaker. So know all she does is spend like 15 hours a day on the pc and eat. Needless to say she's obese. The wife gives her whatever she wants. I've told her at least 3 times that if you do that, you give no incentive for her to want to move out but it falls on death ears. My wife doesn't budget well at all and I don't want my hard earn money going to my step daughter. I want her to feel like she needs to get a job or do something besides slowly waste away in her bedroom. Which by the way, you can imagine how it looks (plates with food all over, rotting and garbage all over the floor). She shares the room with my 11 year old and no matter what we do to try to get her to clean she doesn't. Don't get me wrong, the whole family besides my 11 year old daughter is overweight. I'm just the only one doing something about it. I made damn sure she isn't fat although it's damn fucking hard telling overweight people that no she doesn't need pop tarts every other day for breakfast because that's basically half her caloric needs for the day.

Anyway, so on one hand I'm thinking well she supported me and bought shit for me all the time but I helped out around the house and yard to make up for it. Now that I have a job, should I just lump it with hers and not give a shit what it's spent on?

How would you guys feel and go about this. Give it to me straight like I know you guys will.