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[–]Okeseko 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I've been flaked three times last week. Two of those flakes were with a HB8 and another one was a HB6.
I was expecting those flakes. I didn't build enough comfort with the HB6, she cancelled the date without a valid reason. I replied saying don't worry and start flirting with her and talking about some mutual interests. Her IOIs increased. I didn't set a date with her because I'm a little busied right now and have other prospects.
The HB8 flaked me twice. Short story, I randomly met her in a weekend party and we had a long heavy make up session. I didn't have sex with her because I live in a small religious town and the Anti Slut Defence is pretty high.
Anyway, IMO the right mindset to have on flakes is - always expect a flake. You don't have a date until you're in the actually date. In face of a flake, persistence with confidence is key. Neediness is fatal.
[–]_meursault_0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Aren't you just tolerating disrespect? Surely it's important to set boundaries. Personally, I've learned to cut flakes out of my life. Accepting this behavior is belittling. I'd rather walk away and have dignity. There are plenty of women that have manners and do not behave like self-entitled children.
[–]Okeseko 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dignity? My goal with women is sex. Once we have sex for the first time the roles are reversed. I lose some interest after sex and women get attached. I already k-close the HB8 and she is starting to get emotional connected. I live in a small town in southern europe, I can't afford to be too picky, and the anti slut defence here is pretty strong. For many women, especially for the most attractive ones reputation is everything. They hate being perceived as slut.
Patience is a virtue. I learned this with a local player. This guy was a wolf in sheeps clothing. He played the role of a real charming "nice guy". Once he got what he wanted the chase was reversed. He was a total jerk, once he got the power he would make them his personal sluts. The women would play along because they were already emotional invested.
[–]Okeseko 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Roissy has a great article about this issue.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/should-you-call-out-a-girls-bad-behavior/
[–]_meursault_0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I understand your viewpoint. To be stern, lecture or admonish someone's behavior is definitely futile (also explained in more depth in How To Win Friends And Influence People). I've tried various methods with identical results to the blog post. I learned through trial and error.
Do you never burn bridges?
There is a degree of flaking I obviously tolerate; but I was recently stood up (for a second time) by a girl (HB8) who was consistency unreliable – without as much as a simple apology. She often initiates contact with me every few months, but rarely commits to following through with plans. I made the decision to remove her from my contacts. Sure, my goal was sex and I understood she was flaky by nature – but I felt this was belittling. I'm still not certain if cutting off contact definitively was the best thing to do, but there are plenty of girls out there.
I think our ego and proud get on the way of getting what we want. I think you can cut contact but don't say stuff like "I'll never talk to you again and try to argument with her", they are women, their emotions state their beliefs at the moment. A month later she could feel differently and you have another chance. You'll have higher SMV and be more experienced. For me, a no from a woman is - "Not right now, but maybe in the future."
Keep increasing your SMV and chase other women. In one month or two you could reach out her again with a flirty text...There's a small chance you could bang her. Just don't give her emotional support. Your job is sex so flirt a lot. It must be clear as water that your intentions are sex/romance.
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[–]Okeseko 4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]_meursault_0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Okeseko 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Okeseko 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]_meursault_0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Okeseko 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link