A strange new world I have entered. Openly flirting with girlfriends of collegeaus, scanning tits with approving eyes without giving a damn, fucking girls on first dates and never letting them hear from me again. Making out with married women, seducing moms with babies and basically everything my dick says yeah too. Planning multiple dates on same night and cueing them up. Lying through my teeth to fuck 16 year younger girls (I'm 40). Having a sheathing hatred for women, nurcing pure disgust and the urge to murder when a fat blob of a what used to be a woman crosses my field of view.

Three years ago I was an useless piece of shit. Depressed, addicted, fat fuck. A guy who was de-virgined at the age of 23, viewed women as something pure, something that would always be good in a dark world. Addicted to gaming since the age of six and abusing alcohol for 7 years to cover up his soulcrushing dead bedroom of 9 years, living a life without a goal, with out a sense of belonging. Dead in every thinkable way, except bodily.

And yet here I am, standing. Fighting. I crawled out of my black pit of despair on my own. Better than ever before in my life, physically and very much mentally. I now know what a life without fear and depression feels like. Fucking awesome. But I searched endlessly for answers. Bought hundreds of books to seek an answer to why I was like I was.

And then I found TRP. TRP made everything connect. Something a therapist never did nor could. TRP brought me back to reality, showed me a way to live a worthy life.

It also brought anger and hatred towards women. I don't trust women anymore. Devilish creatures, acting sweet and caring, but only in it for the personal gains. Ugh, I'm trying to make sense of it, but the anger and distrust goes deep.

Is this normal? Have others gone through a similar process? Is there a light at the end of this particular tunnel? Cause I want to achieve parenthood the old fashioned way and this anger & hatred is not helpful in the long run.