TL;DR: What are your thoughts on being passionate versus being unperturbed, stoic and aloof? Quietly withdrawing attention, vs reacting overtly and passionately to behavior you don't like. Any personal examples of when you reacted in these two ways?

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Before I was red-pill aware, I was naturally a very passionate person. I also struggled with jealousy and possessiveness with girls, which led to me confronting my ltr's overtly (you need to stop doing x or talking to x, yada yada).

These past few years I have been working on being more aloof, nonchalant, and indifferent. TRP often advocates for a stoic, aloof mindset that cannot be bothered by shit tests or situations, so that you never raise your voice, get angry, aggressively confront someone, or lose your cool in one way or another (TRP often says that showing anger for any reason is breaking frame).

However, two recent experiences made me question this mindset.

  1. I was with a girl I have been seeing for a while. Long story short, some guy was talking to us and was being really annoying. He was explaining something (and leading the conversation), but he was totally wrong. After a little while, I got sick of him talking and I basically ripped him a new one, and I explained exactly why he was wrong and didn't know wtf he was talking about. I totally shut him down, chastising and bullying him basically.

After this, she was all up in my shit touching me on the way back to the car and she said "I love when you're on one, I love when you get all riled up about something."

  1. A family (girl) friend and I were talking at a gathering. She was telling me about her diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder boyfriend, who she is in an open relationship with, and how they just broke up again. They break up a lot, and it's always the same reason: he gets very jealous, and totally flips out on her ("fuck you, I deserve better than this. Have a nice life etc etc"). This last time he flipped out on her because she took like 6 hours to respond to his texts, which according to trp, this is basically a massive loss of frame on his part.

However, when I asked her if they would get back together, she said "honestly, probably." I asked her what she likes about him. She said that he is a very passionate guy, and she loves his passion. (and him flipping out on her and being jealous is kind of an expression of his passion).

What are your thoughts on being passionate versus being unperturbed, stoic and aloof? Any personal examples of situations you've been in when you reacted in these two ways?

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Extra reading:

Here are extreme examples of the aloof personality versus the passionate personality, just so you can clearly picture exactly what I'm talking about:

In his article on Soft-Nexting, Caleb Jones's gives a few examples of women acting shitty to him. His reaction is always the same. With a happy-go-lucky facial expression, he calmly gives them a warning. Then, he calmly exists the room, and proceeds to soft-next.

Compare this to Edward Norton's character Derek Vinyard in American History X, who is extremely hot headed and reacts overtly and passionately to basically everything. (this is just to have a clear visual of someone acting passionately).

I personally have found some girls respond well when I verbally and directly call them out and put them in their place when they are acting really shitty and giving me really bad attitude (I'm talking raised voice, telling them to either stop being a fucking cunt or to lose my number), instead of just quietly exiting the situation and ignoring them (which I sometimes feel very weak doing).