Ok, so I don't know much about this \r but it seems like dudes giving other dudes advice...

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I've been in a relationship for about 10 months now, and one of the things that has been a constant during this time is the question, "Are you mad?"

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The question itself is harmless. I have strong Resting-Bitch-Face, and so for a long time I was getting asked this question consistently on a day to day basis by at least one person. Needless to say, 99% of the time nothing is wrong, but the constant probing becomes a nuisance.

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Now I'm with my girl, and for some reason she asks me this question ALL THE TIME...and not just one time, but over and over again. I generally say "I'm not mad" or answer "No." at least 4 or 5 times before it starts to annoy me. We've also talked about this several times in the past, as it's literally caused arguments where I've asked her to please not ask me the question over and over again, and assured her that if I say I'm not mad, I'm really not mad.

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So last night, we were having a quiet evening at home. I prepped home-made chicken parm over spaghetti squash for dinner, and we watched some tv on the couch for a while. We move into the bedroom to get ready to call it a night, and watch a bit more tv while cuddling or whatever. She gets up to go to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, etc. When she comes back I do the same, except I notice the sink has been backing up (and have noticed for several days). I decide to snake it quickly to fix the issue, resulting in me taking longer than normal. She comes up to the door and asks me what I'm doing, to which I respond that I'm just getting ready for bed. She didn't need to know I was snaking the sink, even though most of the problem was her hair. It was disgusting, and slimy, and it was on my hands and shit. I was a little disgusted. At this point she asks. "Are you mad?" I tell her no. She walks away, then comes back "Are you mad?" "No." Does this a third time and gets the same response. At this point I'm knuckle deep in slime from the sink drain, and I tell her "I'm just fixing the clog" and she must have detected something in my voice because then the question became "What's wrong?" and at this point I'm now annoyed. Mind you this took place over about 10 minutes.

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I don't know what to do anymore. She hasn't worked on changing this behavior, and it's only become more irritating to me. Is this some kind of personality disorder that I have that this upsets me so much? Like what is it that I need to unpack to better handle this situation? Is this something more to do with her? I don't know how to assess this situation in real time to prevent these arguments anymore.