Single guy, 39. I understand that many (most?) women prefer sex when the guy takes charge, is rough with them, uses them, and that they want to please guys like this.

I’m doing okay at getting new lays - I lift, I’m cocky, fun, and pretty good looking. I don’t really like being rough, though, and sexually I prefer to please. I still take charge, but what gets me going is to make her come so many times she’s barely coherent. I don’t enjoy being rough.

A month ago I met a very athletic 23yo chick whose profile said she was submissive. I talked the talk in my texting with her and she was down to meet.

When we started off, I pulled her hair, held her down, held her throat, and I could tell that’s what she wanted. It wasn’t really what I wanted and I didn’t keep being that rough for very long. I gave her oral (which she also liked), then we fucked and later she blew me. The next day I gave her the “it was nice to meet you” text but was ghosted.

A different chick, 34 MILF, I met with this week for the second time. She really enjoyed getting oral from me (which made me happy). We fucked twice. I figured I was not going to be “up” again after that, but after we laid around a bit and I said “get on your back, I want to taste you again.” Pleasing her and making her shake and moan got me hard again and we fucked a third time.

My best guess is she’ll want to meet again, maybe be a plate.

Is it possible to be alpha when I get aroused by pleasing? I still take charge and tell her what I want, but I also do what I can to please her and I do take direction (which also pleases me). Any specific advice?