I finally swallowed the RP about a week ago now - having spent the first 26 years of my life (I'm 27 in 2 weeks) wandering blindly in the BP wilderness, waiting for the fairytale life I was promised so long as I was"being myself" and "being nice" to fall into my lap.

One week on, a few things I've noticed:

a) I used to lift before, but now I do it with a fucking passion. I look forward to the gym in a way I never did before! I don't know whether I'm being driven by pure anger at the lies and pure waste of the first 26 years of my life or what but I'm lifting like my life depends on it. b) I've also sorted my nutrition a bit ( whereas before I barely ate enough). I swear it's improving my gains already, if only a little (a shirt that fit normally 2-3 weeks ago is now a too tight on my arms, shoulders and chest). c) Nofap was hard for a few days but has now become normal. d) Started reading the 48 Laws of Power, which is pretty insightful. e) As a weird consequence of all the above - I feel more confident: I walk taller, I've developed a swagger when I walk and I can look anyone in the eye (they look away before I do).

That being said, there are some things I still need to work on: 1) Approach Anxiety - Always had it and it's kind of made worse for reasons I'll come onto in the next point. 2) Basically, growing up I had some facial defects (cleft lip, slightly deformed left ear) which destroyed any confidence I had with girls from an early age. I was perfectly social at school and uni (people even say I'm funny) but I never got that side of things (I've had sex a few times, but nothing I'd call a sex life). This has all fucked with my head for my entire life.

Basically, point (2) above has me stuck thinking: - I'm fuck-ugly, always have been, always will be; -Therefore, I'm always going to be on the back foot; - In any case, I'm edging closer to 30. It's too late to change, let alone obtain the kind of sex life some guys have in their 20s. It's too late for me.

Part of me knows (from replies to my initial post last week) that this is nonsense, and I'm in prime position to go full RP and be someone the younger me would be proud of. Nonetheless, I keep having these negative thoughts. What's worse, they keep me awake some nights and are starting to distract me at work (which is not great in the early stages of a legal career, where the firm is watching everything I do).

The big question is, do I look to get some professional help or do I find another way to smash these beliefs and become the man I want to be?