I am asking for help in here because I want a mans view on this, not BP advice from cosmo about accepting you're a fatty.

I don't like the way I look. I hate the way I come out in pictures and don't have many of myself for this reason. I don't like my side profile. I can admit that I am a bit above normal on the looks side. I am forty but can pass for a thirty year old. I do get lots of attention form girls, girls I have lost the courage to approach. Girls open up to me, kino, high fives, laughing at my jokes, giggling when I walk by, stunned looks when they see me in the hallway... All this I notice. Lost weight and have been lifting for 6 months or so. I dress up for work, tucked in ironed shirt, slacks, nice shoes, matching belt. I stick out from the crowd, things I have learned from RP.

I try to make myself happy, but in reality I am miserable. I try self improvement and don't see anything being accomplished. I am a perfectionist and would rather do things right that do them half assed, and this leads to procrastinating. Over the past 2 weeks I have been dipping into video games for happiness, a habit I have tried to leave. This is only a band-aid to other problems.

People respect me, they see me as Alpha. They put trust in me to lead them and they set standards for me. But I feel as if I fail everyone. People always tell me I am smart but I don't know why. People always try to help me, but I don't follow through. I push people away, good people, people I should keep as friends or as networking connects. Everything that is explained in RP theory is within my grasp, I just don't know how to take advantage of it.

What can I do? How can I learn to accept who I am and be happy? Do I really need validation from a woman? I have been incel fro like 7-8 years. There are always opportunities to get with women, but I pass them up. Don't want to deal with the bullshit. All this time I have been working on myself and have made some changes. But these changes are not pleasing anyone and not pleasing me either. How do you gauge your accomplishments? I am alive and that is it, I feel as if I am going nowhere.