Pursuing music or not?

Hey guys I need some advice. So, recently I went down the rabbit hole of self improvement, red pill, social media, validation, etc. and basically what I got from everything I learned is not to be attention seeking, find your passion, and be you. With that being said, music is my passion. I’m a college grad who is in the phases of becoming a web dev, but music is always on the back of my mind and I’ve been sitting on a lot of songs for a year now. The only reason I haven’t released them is because I don’t wanna (1) Be considered attention seeking. (2) I see all these rumors about the music industry and agendas. (3) I keep seeing all this talk on social media that expressing your emotions as a man (black male in 20’s, rock artist) is feminine and how society is trying to make us weaker etc. So, putting my emotions out into the world opens up a number of problems especially with social media now a days. (4) On a spiritual level, I see a lot of videos about negative emotions or being conscious of what you put into your lyrics but i am simply speaking from the heart?

I know you’re probably looking at this like wtf. But these things actually make me overthink and second guess myself. (Better safe than sorry I guess?) I don’t know. I just want to make music, I love it with a passion, especially rock and alternative music. But sometimes it’s hard to follow your passions when you have people all over saying that being a musician and singing is a “beta male” or girls don’t want musicians unless they’re topping the charts. And maybe I shouldn’t be worried about than anyways. But on a realistic note, what should I do? This shits been eating me up for a year now and I have so much music. Once I get a good job, that will definitely allow me to fund my career, but then I start thinking what if I get bored, or the passion runs out. Idk... advice?

P.s. I know for sure that once I get the job and move to a new city that will be a great opportunity. But I know for a fact that just working and going home or hanging with people will be really unfulfilling.