Push Pull

JinkiesGangAClue · 2018-07-30T15:39:46+00:00

Sidebar. Covered extensively.

JordanRedfort · 2018-07-30T15:51:36+00:00

Like most guys, you probably have a tendency to do one of two things. Either you won’t say anything of substance and you’ll appear socially awkward, or you’ll say everything and appear needy and stupid. In response to a girl’s “How was you weekend?” question:

A socially awkward man would reply with a one or two word cookie-cutter answer, like “Fine” or “It was ok.”

A needy and dependent man would go into every single detail about his night, maybe even exaggerating the details: “It was the night of my life! I hit up so many clubs and didn’t get home until 3am!” Remember that this ultimately stems from a position of insecurity; they’re fishing for validation and attention. Just think of the typical vegan, who derives more satisfaction from telling other people about their lifestyle rather than their actually lifestyle. Chances are you’re exaggerating at least a little bit in order to seem more interesting and appealing; women can spot that a mile away:

A dominant man would say “Yeah it was pretty chill, I went out on Saturday night and slept in on Sunday.” Notice that with this response, there’s an opportunity for the conversation to develop further about the Saturday night WITHOUT bragging or boasting about your actions. You could be asked where you went out, which is something a needy man would have revealed instantly. Build mystery and curiosity, hell, make it a game. Say it was a very busy club in city X and you can’t remember the name because you’ve never been there before, and watch the guesses flying your way.

The more you practice, the better you’ll become.

SirKolbath · 2018-07-30T15:51:04+00:00

It sounds paradoxical, but stop trying. As you approach a situation, think about what you want out of it. Here's an example:

I tend to push (i.e: stop showing interest in a woman, begin focusing on other things) when I start feeling bored or that the effort required is reaching the point of diminished value, where what I get in return for my energy isn't worth the expenditure of that energy. This is a cost/benefit analysis of value similar to the description used in Starship Troopers by Heinlein. ("This very personal relationship, "value", has two factors for a human being: first, what he can do with a thing, its use to him… and second, what he must do to get it, its cost to him.")

I tend to pull when I feel the value of the item/activity is more worth the time and effort I expend. One of the hardest things to recognize when you are starting out on the TRP road is that your time has value. You have value. If you remind yourself periodically not to give that value away for free, you'll find yourself pushing automatically. Newcomers, especially those who don't have a lot of experience with women, tend to be always trying to pull. This lands them in beta orbiter "nice guy" status where she uses you for validation and free shit. Taking a moment to remind yourself, and through your actions her, that your time is valuable and she doesn't get it for free, is important.

Another way to describe this is that pushing is making her earn your time and attention while pulling is giving it to her for free. There's a time and a need for both.

DadOnDabs · 2018-07-30T17:01:55+00:00

Push/Pull is entirely based one 1 thing - YOUR ATTENTION. If she is being good and reciprocating your advances you reward her by pulling her in. If she is not then you punish her by pushing her away.

The pull examples - physical escalation, verbal escalation (asking deeper questions, getting sexual, etc.), and just your general interest in her (eye contact, body positioning, etc.)

The push examples - breaking eye contact and looking for other women, disinterested one or two word replies (women do this all the time), disqualifying her "I thought we'd have fun together until you said that", and again body language and eye contact. It can be used either way.

*Edit - had the terms backwards but the concept is the same. Forgot it's relative to her perspective. You pull her in or push her away.

Cmdrj-nice · 2018-07-30T20:34:50+00:00

I would say you need to be outcome independent (something like you just want to have fun tim) this will help you very greatly because you will be more relaxed and not hung up on rejection. Also you need to develop the abundance mentality

Title	Push Pull
Author	DaCheatIsGrouned
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	July 30, 2018 3:37 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9353ig/push_pull/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/push-pull.128947 https://theredarchive.com/post/128947

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