Did you do any 12-step or other group meetings? If so, what was your experience? Do you recommend going? What else has worked for you?

I’ve been clean from heroin and benzos for 6+ years now. I was also a pretty heavy cannabis user for 12 years or so, since the age of 15. I quit that for the most part in the past year.

For a good 2-3 years I really found refuge from my addictions with an intense training regimen. But scoliosis and other postural issues eventually ground that to a halt. I've been going to physical therapy (PT) for about 4.5 years now. Lately I've pretty much stopped doing any strength training. I do some mobility and corrective work, but it just doesn't scratch my addictive "itch" like a good hard strength training session does.

And so the past 2 years or so I've really been in a tailspin. My neck drives me fuckin crazy. It's extremely disruptive to my career as a software engineer. I quit weed, but then I picked up video games. I've been binge eating a lot. I've started thinking about pills, heroin, and suicide often.

I took leave from work to try and focus on PT and not be constantly stressed out about the war between my work and my neck. It mostly turned into a 3 month depressive haze of video games and binge eating. I did find a different PT and started making some progress, though.

I've been really dragging my feet about going to some sort of meeting. I guess because I really hate identifying as an addict. I never really wanted to associate with other addicts. I just wanted to get really into working out and get the fuck on with my life. But I've been pretty damn isolated and I guess I could benefit from a group with a common objective, though I wish it could be something active like sports.

I did go to psychotherapy with a psychiatrist for close to 2 years. The first year or so was really helpful, but then it started getting old and I quit going. I felt like all the therapy in the world wouldn't help if my neck was still driving me crazy.

Anyways, thanks for reading. I appreciate any input.