Question for the sober guys out there

Certifiedfamilylaw · 2017-02-15T20:09:13+00:00

Two options: go and dont drink and let her know your sober. Or get there before her and order a water with lime.

The longer your sober the less this will matter.

I'd suggest keeping my business to myself

IGoYouStayTwoAutumns · 2017-02-15T21:00:58+00:00

6+ years sober here. You're fine "going for drinks" and not actually drinking alcohol--tell the girl to meet you wherever (let's say, for example, the coolest bar you know), get there a few minutes early, tell the bartender you won't be drinking tonight but your date will (be sure tip him well), and then order:

-- Club soda with a splash of cranberry (and lime)

-- Diet Coke (my fave)

-- Coffee (if you're at a bar / lounge / restaurant and they do that)

Or whatever you like. If you're at a speakeasy type place and they make complicated drinks ("Lavender Bee's Knees" etc), tell the bartender you want something "fruity, delicious, and non-alcoholic". They'll whip you up a Virgin Highball or whatever, and IT'LL LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY DRINKING A REAL DRINK (same goes for the club soda and cranberry).

When your date gets there she might not even bring it up, she'll glance at your glass and assume you're drinking booze (and then order a drink for herself). If it DOES come up, just shrug it off and say "Oh I'm not drinking right now, but please, don't mind me, have whatever you like" etc. Play it down. OWN THE FRAME. If she pushes you just hit her with "I'm on antibiotics" or "I'm training for Event X" or whatever you like.

If you end up seeing the girl on a regular basis you can consider opening up to her a bit more at a later date ("I'm a recovering alcoholic, I don't drink, period."), but keep it light in the beginning. Just give her a simple "Nah, I'm good, not drinking tonight" and you should be fine.

poochman · 2017-02-15T20:27:39+00:00

I'd say sure but let her know you don't drink anymore. If she says she doesn't want to drink alone then just say we can just meet and chat at the bar or suggest another activity.

FoxyMcLoud · 2017-02-15T21:30:24+00:00

Man it sure feels like the blind leading the blind in here.

So you don't drink. So fucking what? Like one guy in here said, keep it light. It's not like you are some social outcast for it.

If she's uneasy about meeting up because you DON'T drink, then she's unstable anyway and you NEXT

abundance mentality, frame....sidebar

redolas · 2017-02-15T21:06:39+00:00

Just say: How about we do something different this time? I was thinking maybe ...

and go from there.

asktrpthrow123 · 2017-02-15T21:07:38+00:00

I don't drink. I usually say let's get coffee instead, no questions have ever been asked. Eventually they find out I don't drink.

a_regular · 2017-02-15T21:15:30+00:00

Yo, youre the man so remind me again who makes the plans? Tell her to just stop by your house instead.

Not_Me_Here · 2017-02-15T23:47:38+00:00

Side question on the same topic:

If the girl acknowledge you're not drinking for the night, is she likely to drink less?

Not a big matter, just find girl a bit intoxicated more fun

prodigy2throw · 2017-02-16T04:34:29+00:00

Tell her you don't drink then move the conversation along. Don't turn it into a big deal if she doesn't. If she does, just give her a quick answer and move on.

justputyourmouthonit · 2017-02-16T05:14:41+00:00

Sober guy here.

Get a drink just means go on a casual date. She teed it up, now you just set the date/time for a different activity. 99% of the time this is a welcome surprise . . oh you want to go to the art gallery (my preferred first date spot) instead of get a drink? Wow you're different than most guys etc etc.

BullshittingNonsense · 2017-02-16T06:40:04+00:00

Pull a Roger Sterling - order something non-alcoholic for yourself and a double for her. Tip the bartender to make this happen.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-02-16T16:23:24+00:00

If you're not a past alcoholic, one drink won't kill you. Just get there ahead of time and order a Vodka Cranberry and tell the bartender to go heavy on the cranberry and to put ice in it. Vodka is very low calorie, plus the ice will turn to water and dilute in the alcohol. You'll be alright.

Or just get a glass of milk if you're about them gains.

zidanio10 · 2017-02-15T19:56:04+00:00

Sorry to verge off topic but why don't you drink mate?

CONCERN_FOR_TURTLES · 2017-02-15T19:54:26+00:00

Go, but don't drink, and belittle her a bit about her drinking habits. Make her feel bad for upsetting you with addict like behavior.

Title	Question for the sober guys out there
Author	investcapital
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	February 15, 2017 7:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5u9t4y/question_for_the_sober_guys_out_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/question-for-the-sober-guys-out-there.82645 https://theredarchive.com/post/82645

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