Hi guys. I’m new here, and I would like to ask you for some advice.

Let me tell you a little bit about my situation. I’m 33, have a masters degree, and I’m currently in a PhD program –in the humanities. During my entire life, I’ve been told that if you’re a gentleman, you will be liked by women. I think this is false. At best, you’ll be friendzoned. I’m also overweight. I’ve had a total of 5 girlfriends during my whole life.

So far, I think I’m pretty much a loser when it comes to women. Some have liked me, but I didn’t really feel attracted to them.

What prompted me to write this post is the following: I recently got a soft rejection by someone who has been my friend for 8 years, and it still hurts pretty bad. She’s 30 and recently divorced. She was always very nice to me, and we went out together sometimes. I still have feelings for her. I feel like shit.

So, anyway, here are a couple of questions:

  1. Should I start working hard to make myself physically attractive? (This is really hard for me).

  2. Or should I just change my attitude toward women and think that I don’t really need them? (I know, I sound bitter.)