Recent beta TRP convert looking for advice on how to not fall in love with every girl who gives me attention

NightwingTRP · 2015-11-08T15:26:04+00:00

Right, so there's been a few short answers to this one already... and quite frankly OP, your question is far too big for a short answer. You seem sincere about your request, so I'm going to take the time to give you my nuanced view on the almost paradoxical successful attitude you'll want to adopt in order to keep oneitis at bay. There is no black and white on this and I've provided multiple suggestions of action, so take what you like and leave what you don't like. But remember to question yourself on why you dislike those things - and if the answer is "feels" then ignore them and implement it anyway. For in-field game attitude, you can check out the part of my TRP Field Toolkit series on Attitude and IDGAF. (But that's not directed at avoiding catching those pesky feelz... it's directed at closing the deal as quickly as possible.)

One of the big lessons I've gotten is not to go too far too fast -- I shouldn't drop 20lbs, get some nice clothes and assume I'm not a beta. One of the big things people seem to stress around here is delayed gratification and building towards something.

Ironically this touches on what I would say is the big issue. It's a side effect of training yourself for the big thing that gives you your power back and takes it away from the pussy.

And you're not going to like this.

Be ready to walk away. From any woman. Because you can. I can already hear the Gronks crying from on high "but dude, my sweet gainz should be used to get me secks!" Well... yes and no. Sex is good, but there is a plethora of situations in which I will turn down sex and this seems to be consistently forgotten. As a couple of examples, a chick who has any kind of rape story will not get sex from me. Either she was really raped and she's probably broken and could therefore act seriously irrationally and cry rape on me. Or she's been lying which means she could accuse me of a false rape since she's got a history of this. Either way, it's too much of a risk. Another example is the chick who shows crazy behaviour. Remember the PSA from Red Pill which is repeated ad nauseam: Don't stick your dick in crazy. I wouldn't have sex with a co-worker, no matter how hot she was because it's inadvisable to shit where you eat.

Many newer members are so sex starved that they can't see anything beyond that need to get their dick wet. That need is natural, but then you've got the paradox that men who are that sex starved and desperate to get their dick wet are extremely unattractive. Whereas men like me who can take it or leave it on our own terms, have women practically begging to be one of the choices we make when we choose to have sex. You want to keep in mind that this is the end goal. It is a fundamental attitude readjustment. So now you know the goal, you want to know how to get there.

I would advise things like practicing walking away. If you can't even make yourself do that for no reason... how can you trust yourself to do it when you need to? And guess what this behaviour can do - yup... women will chase you harder.

A lot of guys here sneer at MGTOWs because they think they couldn't get sex anyway. They see them and realise they're horrendously low SMV. Which is true for some and untrue for others. I have a friend who is something of a natural MGTOW in his early 20s. Good job, in exceptional shape, decent looking, good fashion sense, has his own place and hobbies. He's just smart enough that he's noticed what is going on in society and decided women simply aren't worth the effort they expect. He regularly gets shamed by his sister and mother, but he has his friends like me to provide the emotional support he needs. I've chosen to spin plates, he has chosen to opt out altogether and I respect that. He's entitled to his choice, and I might end up joining him as a MGTOW one day. I haven't closed off that option, because I will still walk away if I need to. The Red Pill is all about practicality and pragmatism.

So the irony is that while some guys on TRP and MGTOW guys sneer at each other for the choices they make, any true Red Pill man will still be keeping MGTOW as an option (not necessarily their community, but in terms of the base philosophy of walking away from the entire SMP and putting no more effort into it.)

Here's something I sometimes do, I game a chick I'm not interested in for fun. I know from the outset that I'm not going to seal the deal (because I actually find the interaction and the sort of mental game of chess going on rather entertaining. The game is a game to me. You'll win some and lose some, but it's fun to play.) (EDIT This reminded me of an excellent FR I read recently at the Chateau Heartiste. I think it will be useful to you.) For you I'd suggest that the game is super serious and that the outcome keeps becoming important to you. That needs to change.

Repeat after me: women do not matter. These are creatures who need men that do not need them. If you need women, they do not need you.

Have you got a good group of male friends with a solid IDGAF mindset and an eagerness to have fun? It sounds like you could do with spending more time with such men and getting that platonic emotional intimacy. At the end of the day, a platonic friendship will provide for just about every human social need short of sexual intimacy. (And that's why many Red Pill men spin plates rather than having relationships. They don't need the emotional intimacy from women.)

And we're finally getting to my unifying point here (yes, it's long, but if you want a serious answer from me then you won't care) the sort of man who is really attractive to women and has a strong abundance mentality could readily live a life without women because he's already got an awesome life set up without any one specific woman in it. You should focus on building that life. Make that your new mission, go monk mode for a few months with the mission to create a life that you're happy with - to the point that you're seriously questioning whether any woman could add much or anything at all to it. After all, have you spoken to these women giving you attention? Like, seriously analysed what they say... is any of it intellectually stimulating? Or is it mostly just stimulating your emotions? As a writer, I'd hope you could get that emotional fulfilment in many other ways. (Esp now that you know you can't share any negative emotions with women.) When you finally do start to go after women again, the best attitude that will convince you to will be something along the lines of "I'll give it a shot, might be a laugh."

We say time and again that women aren't interested in the "in-progress" man, they want the finished article. They don't want to know how it's made, they just want the final product and they want it now. This is much the same with the life a woman wants. She doesn't want her own life, she wants to ditch her own boring life and set up shop in the life of a man who already has an amazing life. She doesn't want to work to build a cool life. She'll just get with a guy who already has one since that requires very little effort. And here's the kicker - she can do that and you can't.

So go focus on building that life bro. Once you're done... you might end up having a good laugh when you start getting messages from your ex wanting to set up shop in your new life.

JeffsRP · 2015-11-08T02:19:41+00:00

You can't truly beat scarcity mentality (the foundation of oneitis) until you have actually had abundance.

Keep being awesome and you'll find more than one woman who gives you attention. All of a sudden there are two women who you love.

When you get to 10 or so women having given all their attention to you, you realise that your love for them was pretty much the same across the all the women.

RacialRealism · 2015-11-08T02:39:30+00:00

1) Realise that women aren't that great and not worth falling in love with. Really what will a women give you other then validation and sex? Nothing. Unless this women you met is cooking and cleaning for you there is no good reason to fall in love with them.

2) Abundancy. The best way to get over one women is with another one.

afroose · 2015-11-08T06:56:24+00:00

Before going to bed ask yourself, why is she so great.

Title	Recent beta TRP convert looking for advice on how to not fall in love with every girl who gives me attention
Author	faustmonkey
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	November 8, 2015 1:06 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3rye08/recent_beta_trp_convert_looking_for_advice_on_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/recent-beta-trp-convert-looking-for-advice-on-how.156273 https://theredarchive.com/post/156273

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