Hello TRP,

I just thought I'd share where I'm at, and ask for some help as I feel this is one of the last safe communities for men to really connect on a large scale. Story time:

At 17 my 16 year old girlfriend stopped taking her birth control without telling me. She then cheated on me, and got pregnant (I didn't know she cheated until later). The child has a 50% chance of being mine. I've paid crippling levels of child support, and since I was underemployed for 3 years I fell very far behind. I moved away from them and got my career on track, but only pay half of what the court ordered me to despite being well into 6 figures now. The reason being is I told her 'take it, or you get nothing', hung up the phone and haven't heard from her since. This was 3 years ago now and she still cashes my checks. While I don't recommend this course of action for others in my position, I discovered that being firm and alpha about my intentions caused baby-momma to capitulate. Even with the 'who the daddy' question hanging around, I'm fine paying her off for the next 5 years. After that it's over and I can move on with my life completely. My 18 year nightmare will be over! So back story set, on to today:

A little over 2 years ago I started seeing a gal I really like. I had not found TRP yet and didn't see the warning signs of being progressive and feminist. Other then those traits she is an absolute joy to be with. We have recently gotten more serious and talked about getting married and having a child. Now I'm not totally against having a child, but I am totally against giving a women (a feminist at that) control over my life again. My thought is that if she continues to want a child, and I want to continue this relationship I should ask her to give up her career and stay at home to make it happen. I make enough money for this and I'd prefer my children grow up and learn from their parents and not a sitter. This means she would have to choose to commit to me almost as deeply as I would commit to her. Is this an acceptable risk? Any advice or experience in the matter would be appreciated.

Please be light on the 'get out now' posts. As beta as it sounds keep in mind we are talking about somebody I care about. When she isn't in feminist mode she's pretty great and reasonable on every topic we cover except gender studies.