Resources on holding frame...

DarkisKnight · 2015-05-01T00:48:39+00:00

I would steer you towards reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and stoicism. My favorite book on stoicism is "The Obstacle is The Way."

Side note: having a strong frame is a mindset. It's something that doesn't change over night but develops over time. Learn to be assertive and ask for what you want, and say what you don't want. Learn to channel your emotions. There are so many ways to do this and it is a lifelong project IMO.

Good luck.

Cruel_Man · 2015-05-01T01:24:45+00:00

I do not have a quick list of cheats on frame, but I do have a three insights as a man in his 30s:

Learn the difference between principles and values, and how principles can lead to integrity and a strong self of self. A very secure, internally-consistent worldview is magic when it comes to frame, because you will know exactly how to act in nearly every situation.
Throughout your daily activities, constantly take a moment to consciously reinforce the strength of your frame in the current context. On the bus? Say to yourself, 'I deserve to be here' and make eye contact with everyone around you. Avoiding the someone-has-a-case-of-the-Mondays fat secretary at work? Fuck that, say 'I am going to go over there and spend five minutes talking to her about MY shit.' Assert your presence on the world around you.
Get beat up by the world a bit. Put yourself in situations where your frame is tested, bent and broken. It will desensitize you to the scenarios that trip up young, inexperienced men, and you will start to get a feel of where your personal boundaries lie. This will give you a baseline for assessing how well you progress in the coming years.

Title	Resources on holding frame...
Author	MoneyStatusLooks
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	May 1, 2015 12:40 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/34grh6/resources_on_holding_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/resources-on-holding-frame.148489 https://theredarchive.com/post/148489

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