Responding to LJBF

[deleted] · 2013-11-26T17:57:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2013-11-26T18:31:34+00:00

The easiest way to go about it is to just next her. I prefer the "no thanks..." line of comments if you want to go this route.

However, if she has other attractive friends and you see some potential there then you don't have to next completely. The issue here is that you need to come off as agreeable but non-needy. One of the bests way to do this is to agree with her statement, but add a compliance test to the end of it.

Her: "LJBF"
You: "Sure, but you should introduce me to your other attractive single friends instead."

If she's just using you then she won't agree to this compliance test. If she actually wants to be your friend, then she most likely will and it's a win-win.

The biggest thing as you learn more game is to see rejection as opportunities for something else. Nexting is fine, but it's not as advantageous as say widening your social networks even if you get LJBFed by a girl.

Don't think of social interaction as you vs her, and you must get the better end of things or you'll be a beta. Aim for a win-win if there's an opportunity for it.

PhantomDream09 · 2013-11-26T15:51:57+00:00

"I don't have female friends. Call me when you change your mind."

Then leave and don't contact. They may or may not come around. The point is to show them that trying to put you on the sidelines is unacceptable and is cause for them to be completely removed from you life.

RPstudent · 2013-11-26T21:21:05+00:00

As with all courses of action, your response should be based on what matters most to you and your objectives.

If you are interested in a girl as a potential sexual partner and she says, let's just be friends, your response needs to be "No" or some variation of that. Don't ghost. Even via text. Say "No" and let it go. If she asks, tell her what you will. You don't owe her an explanation. She isn't your friend and you aren't fucking her, so telling her nothing works just fine.

Awkwardness is a reflection of your lack of comfort in being forced to take a stand rather than acquiesce to her wishes.

IdleGod · 2013-11-26T17:50:19+00:00

LJBF -> Lets just be friends. Took me a while to get that...

Next. They're trying to set you into their beta orbiter plane, so it's your duty to burn hard away from that trajectory. She has likely tried to pull you in flirtatiously, and this is her way of keeping you at bay. Look at her guy friends, she probably has many of them, and has used this tactic before. Do not be these guys.

aaron_the_just · 2013-11-27T15:08:34+00:00

"I have enough friends"

"I try not to fuck my friends, so we can't be friends"

I once had a girl who was so crazy I knew better than to try to have sex with her, so she reacted by telling me we were "just friends". I responded, "Yup! And that's all I want."

Eventually I got tired of her poor behaviour, and I told her I wouldn't talk to her anymore because if I did, I would have nothing to say but cruel, hurtful things. We haven't spoken since.

Sirinon · 2013-11-28T11:48:07+00:00

I usually next before it gets anywhere near the LJBF line however the response I give is "I dont take you out to be your friend." and then cut contact.

[deleted] · 2013-11-28T20:13:57+00:00

As others have said if you're on the ball it shouldn't get to that point. However, most young men will experience it at least once, it's a learning experience.

If you have to do it face-to-face be polite but firm. Let the woman know that you were interested in being more than friends and unfortunately if there's no chance of it developing then it would be better for both of you if you stopped it there.

Why do women LJBF you? It's their way of turning you down gently, but also they're hoping to get more attention and perhaps access to resources, although they would strongly deny this.

So naturally when you firmly but politely reject the 'offer' they're not going to react reasonably. At best they'll act a bit hurt but accept it, at worst you'll be accused of only wanting one thing, of being a pervert or a freak. If you're weak it's usually here that men give in - don't! Just ride it out knowing you're doing the right thing, the right way.

It's fine to have female friends, but don't be a chump.

HumanSockPuppet · 2013-12-05T09:18:28+00:00

"Mmmmm...pass." And then walk away/hang-up/never contact her again.

Chalk it up as a botched seduction attempt.

[deleted] · 2013-12-15T02:45:07+00:00

just say ok, and then move on to bigger and better things. You don't have time to waste trying to convince her that she's wrong and that you're a great guy. That's a weak thing to do, and plays into her frame.

You want to get to the point where you're dropping the LJBF lines.

drrtyfrrnr · 2013-11-26T15:42:10+00:00

I've stopped responding. Just mentally next the person and delete the number.

Meglomaniac · 2013-11-26T22:47:45+00:00

Honestly, if you have gotten to this point you have failed every single one of her shit tests so far.

If you say "I dont be friends with girls I want more from" and then next her, it will drive her absolutely crazy. If she legitimately enjoyed your company and wanted you, she will go nuts.

Shes basically going "I have you tagged as a beta, wanna orbit?" and by saying no, it rocks her frame.

Title	Responding to LJBF
Author	MahlerNinth
Upvotes	8
Comments	23
Date	November 26, 2013 3:36 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1ri00w/responding_to_ljbf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/responding-to-ljbf.138511 https://theredarchive.com/post/138511

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