Second date after a botched first one?

Letsbeserioushere · 2016-01-04T12:20:01+00:00

If the date was shit it's pretty much over, but it wouldn't hurt to ask for another.

Show very little investment; "I'll be at bar X at 8:30 tomorrow. Come meet me for drink".

Best case, she remembers some quirk about you and accepts. Worst case, she ignores you. In any event, who cares.

Outlandder · 2016-01-05T00:37:55+00:00

This has happened to me twice where I have basically botched dates and then miraculously managed to set up a second date. My summary of how I botched them: I was not outcome independent. Getting off topic though.

Let me save you some time. Don't bother with a second one. Think of it like a failed exam in college. You failed it. You can't unfail it. All you can do is move on to the next one. When you pass a test, you will know you passed that test. There won't be any doubt about whether or not you could have an enjoyable second date with the girl or not.

Besides, this is what first dates are for. Not every single one will be a home run, and often times it won't be your fault. Sometimes there just isn't a connection, or the girl is an alpha widow wearing a newly fastened chastity belt as she builds her self esteem back up. Sometimes the chick is legit on the date just for the free drinks and a confidence boost.

Last tip I have is based on my personal preference. Don't bother for the good night kiss. The good night kiss is the definition of entering a woman's frame. You are legitimately ending the night with a move that puts her 100% in control. How? You settled for just a kiss. You give her the option of rejecting you or not. You indicated romantic interest when you haven't gotten what you want first. My ending of dates goes like this: As we are getting up from bar/table or walking to the door or whatever, a little bit before the goodbye is coming, just ask if she wants to have a drink at your place. If she says yes, you are golden. If she says no, then act like that no couldn't possibly mean less to you, and say "Cool no worries, I had a great night, get home safe" and give her a hug. It's such a great power move because you have basically said "I want you to come home with me. It will not break my heart if you don't come home with me, but I'm interested in you and that is the next progression I would like to make between us." You've made it very clear how she can earn more of your time.

Title	Second date after a botched first one?
Author	Outlandder
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	January 4, 2016 12:14 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3zek0v/second_date_after_a_botched_first_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/second-date-after-a-botched-first-one.158753 https://theredarchive.com/post/158753

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