Hello guys, sorry for this post but I feel like I need help. Currently I'm anxious and sad because one month ago a found a date with a girl, she was perfect (let me be human, I know this is going to hurt me even more because I'm a fucking asshole who put her in a pedestal) extremely pretty, intelligent, and well, I can continue but I want to get to the point.

Well, to put you in context, I've had a girlfriend (let's call her Alpha) for almost 5 years, we're in a good relationship, and then, I met this charming girl (let's call her Omega). When I met Omega, we had a strong connection and a volatile chemistry, the same day we hanged out through the university and she asked me for my number, I gave it to her and we talked through messages for a while. We were just friends because, even though I liked her, she also was in a relationship.

The days passed and one night, Omega, in the bus (we take the same bus to go to our houses), she said to me "Hey dude, I sent a message to you, please, read it when you arrive to your house", and I was like "Well!", I didn't even expected her to tell me what she said, "You're my crush", "I like you a lot", "Do you want to be my bf?", and I was like "Whaat?", I replied "I want to be your boyfriend, of course, I want to see you tomorrow" and she replied "Well, What do you want to do?", I said "I want to make you mine in every way possible. ;)" and she said "...Okey...", the next day she stood me up and that made me angry as hell, and I stopped looking for her. Some days passed again and she started to write to me "Hey, dude, sorry for it, I need to say something to you...", I didn't replied, and she wrote it again and again day after day, I didn't see her in all that time.

So, the other day I found her in the bus stop, she saw me and I was like "What the fuck do you want to get from seeing me?", I just said "Hello" and she started tapping me a little bit, I was like "..." and she said "Sorry, I'm in a relationship, I want you to know my boyfriend", and I was like "I don't want to do it, and there is nothing to regret, just forget it", she said "Sorry, I love you", and I didn't replied.

Days passed again and I started a little friendship with her (I wasn't interested anymore in a relationship but a friendship because I didn't want to put any effort in her).

And then, holidays! We lost contact for at least two months and then she started to write to me, I didn't replied, but one day, I had a problem with Alpha, I was like "So, what's next?" and I wrote to Omega saying "Hey, do you know? I broke up with my girlfriend, I don't feel well at all", (It's a lie, I didn't broke up with her, and in fact, she's still my girlfriend), and she replied something like "Oh, but you can count on me! Do you want to hang out?", I said yes, but actually I didn't feel like it, and I stood her up, I made up an excuse and so on... She didn't care, and day after day she proposed we meet, and then, one day, she told me she broke up with her boyfriend, and she said to me "I want to see you, actually I don't care about him", so, to simplify everything (because this isn't a novel, fuck, I started to see this like it) we met and I kissed her, that was so nice and I gave her a book as gift (she loved it and she loves to read a lot, so...), I asked her to be my girlfriend and she agreed! We met at my house and talked for a while buuuut nothing happened (because I didn't propose or move for it, and I think that was my FUCKING error, DAMN).

So, from there, we didn't see each other again, she hasn't gone back to the university, and when I wrote to her, she just said "Yes, we need to hang out! You talk too much", I replied and she never wrote back to me (that was a couple of weeks ago), since then, I didn't write to her or tried to propose a met and she didn't write back to me, and that bother and annoy me a lot! FUCK, why can't she write to me? Her excuse is "I'm too busy at my work and my studies" and well, I know that's true, but, mate, can't you take 3 minutes a day to write a fucking message? because I can!

And well, what should I do? Should I write to her? Should I forget her? I'll see her again when classes start all over again, because we're in holidays just now, and well, will she just forget me? I've got so many questions and I want to know it, I'm anxious, furious and wanting to burn my notebooks for no fucking reason! Ahhh! Save me!

This isn't a joke, I feel like I'm going crazy. :c I need help.