Ay TRP

So here's the lowdown. I finger my ex, break her hymen, condom pops during sex. Some time later we have a massive fight and we break up.

Now my friends think it's funny and have taken to calling me 'three fingers' and inserting that joke in every conversation.

Ordinarily this would not be a problem but I am grossly undereducated in the art of shit test deflection (my father is utterly blue pill), so I can't think of anything witty with which to deflect them.

Do you guys have any smart responses/places you would recommend for me to git gud at deflection? I've read the sidebar but those are just guidelines, I need practice. I have no clue how to start.