Since my breakup almost a year ago I have been through a journey and a half. After some time of feeling like shit I decided that it was no longer sustainable to feel like that and I entered into a state of MONK for three months. Once I arrived back in Berlin, I ended my MONK and allowed myself to start seeing people. I accumulated a few plates and started having fun.

Then CoronaVirus lockdown came and that meant that I had to be a little more selective with who I was seeing which was still a comfortable amount of regular plates. Anyway, About 2 weeks into lockdown I’m out walking my dog one morning across the street when I bump into this Italian chick I had never seen before, our dogs quickly became friends and that day I bumped into her three times. The third time I asked for her number and that night she was in my bed.

Due to the convenience of her living a mere 90m away, we started seeing each other more and more and as the CoronaVirus numbers kept increasing, I started cutting plates due to their contact with other guys...I’m in the high risk group so I minimize my chances of getting it.

Anyway, this Italian bird and I spoke, I told her that due to the situation, if she were sleeping with anyone else then I’m not interested in her, she agreed and said that’s how it is. A level of exclusivity without the actual label of exclusivity.

Over the course of the month, we saw each other a lot, we started to get closer and closer and of course I developed ONEitis (I know, my mistake). The lockdown, coupled with the over romanticized idea of meeting someone under such rare circumstances that you have such a deep connection with dragged my further down the ONEitis hole to the point where I am ready to commit to this chick.

This all came to a head the other night, she came over for dinner, we were cooking together, drinking, playing around. She loves the fact that I am British and sometimes I make cheeky classic British comments and that night was no different, I passed her a drink and as I did I said “m’lady she replied with “you wouldn’t call me your lady if you knew who I had been with this afternoon” and then she tried to kiss me.

At that moment I backed off and was like “woah woah, don’t touch me eh” the discussion got heated and I told her to leave. I didn’t act butthurt or jealous, I held frame the entire time, even when I could see her getting upset.

At first she claimed what she said was a joke, then she tried to justify it, then she back peddled completely and said she was making it up to test my reaction, each time I maintained frame and told her to leave. Now, 2 days in and I’m starting to feel guilty and bad, I know part of that is down to the ONEitis and that’s something I have to deal with myself.

But was I in the right to tell her to leave and soft next her? I did it because she lied to me and because she has possibly started seeing someone else during corona times after promising she wouldn’t. Should I hard next? Should I soft next for a few days and see what happens?

Honestly, the ONEitis leaves me a little confused what to do.