Soft next and Hard next

SarsaparillaCorona · 2015-12-27T19:58:18+00:00

Nexting is always done for a reason, typically as a punishment, but never without a reason (not being interested in them anymore does count as such).

Soft nexting basically means you don't make any attempt at contacting the person, wether that be as a reaction to misbehaviour, them not being worth your time or not being as responsive to your advances and suggestions (2 or more date changes with warning or a flake with no date change is soft nexting territory).

Hard nexting is absolute no contact, even if they reach out to you. Typically a soft next will end when sufficient dread has been achieved, but no amount of dread will reverse a hard next. This is saved for times where the girl has cheated, lied or has attempted to manipulate you.

It's also worth noting that you should be judging your plates and relationships by an action by reaction basis, if someone's actions make you not want to be around them, you don't, doesn't matter if you've been seeing them for a week or a year.

vandaalen · 2015-12-27T20:49:02+00:00

Next, or hard-next mean you imedietally cut all ties and pretend that person died. You will never have contact again and if you inadvertedly run into that person, you'll pretend you've never met them before and ignore them.

Soft-next is the same with the distinction, that it is a limited period of time. When and if this period ends depends on the circumstances and is tied to specific premises to be fullfilled, that you yourself set.

A typical example is unnecessary drama. You are at your main plate and she starts throwing fits at you about all those other women you are fucking. It ends with her crying and telling you that you are an asshole, yiddi-yadda-yah. You calmly grab your jacket and leave the place without saying anything.

Since this was the first time she started that shit, you decide she'll only get a soft-next. You decide that since she didn't shout too much at you, two weeks should do, but she will have to make it absolutely clear to you that a) she knows what she did wrong and b) she will not do (read: try to do) it ever again.

From thereon you keep happily fucking your other plates and the following things can happen:

a) She never tries to contact you. So you forget about her and keep going on.

b) She casually tries to make contact, without giving a proper excuse for her behaviour. You keep waiting.

c) She sends you a text, explaining her misbehaviour and apologizes to you. You wait until the two weeks have passed and send her a text as if nothing happened.

d) She takes longer than two weeks to decide to realize that she was a dumb bitch and behaved appropratly. In which case you decide case by case, if you are willing to give her a pass or just block her.

Usually a second soft-next for the same offense becomes an automatic instant hard-next, but again that is something you and your mirror will have to decide. It also always depends on your overall relationship to that woman and her overall sanity. You can also decide that it's a soft-next with double the time.

Title	Soft next and Hard next
Author	loin_fruit
Upvotes	1
Comments	10
Date	December 27, 2015 5:46 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3yf0u3/soft_next_and_hard_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/soft-next-and-hard-next.158415 https://theredarchive.com/post/158415

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