Stoic vs. Fun?

CopperFox3c · 2018-10-25T03:55:15+00:00

Years ago, this confused me too. I would be out for the first time with a new girl, and I was supposed to be kino-ing her and escalating but also cool and aloof and not showing too much interest ... what?

Over years of practice, I realized it all came down to this: you should be fun and engaging, without expecting anything in return. As long you don't come from a place of neediness, you are fine. Stoicism in that regard is really about killing your inner neediness.

Besides, those covert contacts are never a good strategy.

AlmightyPhoenix · 2018-10-25T03:41:06+00:00

stoicism - the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint

this is the actual definition... you can be a stoic and still give a fuck, it's more about not showing when something is painful, sucking it up, embracing the suck and pushing through it

you can be stoic and still be a fun person to be around, feel/display happiness, etc, the branch of stoicism would be more of a "i just got laid off at the office but instead of showing that its stressing me out ima act like its just a minor setback and push through it" thing than "idgaf" ... i also think taking advice for whats attractive in relationships on here could be a bad idea, since a lot of the stories i hear that bring people here begin with them being cheated on in a relationship... filter through the bs shoveled down your throat here

amn301 · 2018-10-25T11:20:53+00:00

I think there is a misunderstanding about stoicism on this sub. One of the main goals of stoicism is tranquility, which basically means joy. It is not hiding all kinds of emotions, but not experiencing the negative ones and preferably replacing them with positive ones.

Of course you don't want to be a clown, but enjoying life and having lots of positive feelings because of it is, in my opinion, far better than constantly trying to suppress your feelings.

If you don't know much about stoicism read about it. A Guide to the Good Life is a good beginner's book, well written and enjoyable.

morescoobysnacks · 2018-10-25T02:39:20+00:00

Stoicism is more to do with LTRs-- you shouldn't show weakness too often. It has nothing to do with attraction.

Derfaust · 2018-10-25T11:25:33+00:00

Stoicism is about living as if you are a part of nature;

A strong part of which is accepting and acting like you are a social creature; this means having emotions and having fun, but you own your emotions, your emotions don't own you; likewise you don't let the fun own you (addiction);

but also that you understand the difference between what is in your control and what is outside of your control (as happens in nature)... and in the latter case... you just fucking roll with it like a man instead of crying about it like a child.

Girlfriend cheats on you? So fucking what. But did you die? No? Then continue living your life. Learn from your mistakes where possible.

A lot of misery arises from our expectations and many people have the expectation that they are somehow above nature and thus deserve special treatment... they cry "Why me!?" as if it is such an unusual thing that ill fate has befallen them.

Correct your expectations. Expect that you are a part of nature and that natural things will happen to you... the roller-coaster of life.

But when the bad things happen.... and they will.... you get to control how you react to them.

derrtderr · 2018-10-25T03:20:08+00:00

Why not both?

821sleepingbag · 2018-10-25T09:00:22+00:00

Stoic when times are tough, fun and exciting when times are good.

TheDonCap · 2018-10-25T07:18:46+00:00

Por que no los dos?

Title	Stoic vs. Fun?
Author	self-medicate
Upvotes	65
Comments	21
Date	October 25, 2018 1:49 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9r5yk0/stoic_vs_fun/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/stoic-vs-fun.135663 https://theredarchive.com/post/135663

Comments