Hello, I will try to keep my question short and simple.

I am following a course that contains programming and some other computer related subjects and I have to say: I am struggeling with it.

This frustrates me because I fear of the chance of failing this year combined with a few other factors:

Last year I was the first one of the class with a big advantage. I often get reminded of it even if it's unconcious. I ask myself: What did I do last year what I don't do now and I basically get stuck, I don't remember it at all what is supposed to be that one thing that made me stand out in almost every subject.

I often get annoyed at my classmates, some of them have a very high IQ and all they do is just read the material once and they basically ace a test when I am struggeling to remember even a sentence, instead I do all nighters but get nowhere near the same results.

Also, I often have the tendency of asking myself: Am I fast enough, can do it today or will I do it too long as well?

I try to do things like pomodoro, keep small goals and some other things but none of them makes it possible for me to actually accomplish something within the deadline or even close to it.

I am getting real tired of me failing and struggeling, I want to succeed, not only that but stand out above others. But all I get is dissapointment.

What is it that I lack: Focus, lack of ambition, inferiority complex?

I really don't have a clue.