First of all, sorry for wasting your time.
I'm 19. I never told anyone directly that I want to suicide. I just wanted their opinions on suicide. They've always told me: "Such a young boy shouldn't even know such words" and that I didn't live enough to know about such things.

If I'm a waste right now, and I can't fix anything, that means I will be a waste in the future aswell. Is there any difference if I'll end it now or if I'll wait?

About me, I was the happiest child in the whole world. I would get the shit beaten out of me then go find any reason to laugh with my friends. The problem is I had a crazy mother: when I would run from something bad I did outside she would beat me and always tell me that God has seen what I've done (even for things like stealing cherries from a tree) and when I would stay and get my punishment she would yell at me and condamn me because I'm not as slick/sly as the others who ran. I believe that had an immense impact on my brain, maybe even gave me mental problems.
As for my father, he was and is that guy who always talks from the bible without actually giving any good advice. Just bullshit god said. However, he adored my mother, he even told her she doesn't have to go to work just so she could raise me and my brothers (she raised me like the trash I'm now) and he always accepted whatever my mom said.
What made everything worse was my teeth (and the bullying that came with it). They are not really hideous, but there's no way I could smile and risk showing them. I learned how to open my mouth and laugh with my upper lip covering my front teeth without looking like I'm doing it intentional. It hurts to know that they always had the financial means to get me braces and they never did.
The reason I even know english is because from a young age I didn't want to people to see me and considered I shouldn't live so the internet was a blessing for me, however there weren't communities speaking my language so I had to learn english.

My only qualities are a good sense of humor (my coping mechanism, I made people laugh all my life in order to be accepted probably) and my height (I think?). I've always been a monstrosity in the height department. I was 6'2 (188cm) in my last year of middle school and am 6'6 (198cm) now. However, that was just another reason others could have to bully me.

I always think how different my life could have been if only I had a real father figure in my home, and a mother who loved me.
I've many times wanted to suicide but when the time came I just couldn't.

Well, thanks for reading my pathetic story. The only reason I posted that here is because this is the only community with individuals I respect.
The same question remains: Is there any difference if I'll end it now or if I'll wait?